TMI Tuesday – Roll With It!

TMI TuesdayRoll With It!

  1. With whom would you like to take a bath?
  2. You are driving motorcycle hard down a country road, wind in your hair. Who is the hottie on the bike with you that you will be riding later?
  3. Baking naked–who is kneading your dough? 😉
  4. Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Who is joining you for a sexy sea adventure?
  5. “I got your back.” Hands down who do you fully support, stick by no matter what, Who are you willing to help at all costs?
     
    I am kind of cheating this week but only for the simple reason that the answer to all five of the above questions is the same person. Yes, I know, it’s all a bit boring, but when you have that one special friend that you share many a wonderful sexual adventure with, they have to be first choice.

Bonus: Belly button– “inny” or “outty”? Are you going to show us? 😀
It is an “inny” and you can see plenty of evidence here.

ZeN

Advertisements

Schrödinger’s Wanker

#MasturbationMondaySome of you will, no doubt, be at least passingly familiar with the concept of Schrödinger’s cat; the idea postulated to explain the strange nature of quantum superpositions, in which a quantum system such as an atom or photon can exist as a combination of multiple states corresponding to different possible outcomes. The prevailing theory at the time said that a quantum system remained in this superposition until it interacted with, or was observed by, the external world, at which time the superposition collapses into one or another of the possible definite states.

Still with me?

To illustrate this. Schrödinger  proposed a scenario with a cat in a locked steel chamber, wherein the cat’s life or death depended on the state of a radioactive atom, whether it had decayed and emitted radiation or not.

One of the obvious problems with this, aside from its inherent cruelty to the cat is that, depending on how long the radioactive material actually took to decay, the cat could die for a number of totally unrelated reasons, i.e. starvation or, more likely due to need for the steel box in question to be sealed to prevent stray radiation entering from outside, asphyxiation. Another possibility is that the cat could die out of sheer boredom. All of these deaths could occur without radioactive decay and would, therefore, render the experiment invalid (and pointless).

This did get me thinking, in an oddly roundabout way, about the internet and the way we interact with each other over it.

In this scenario, the “internet” is the closed box and I am the cat/wanker in question. Now, at the time of writing this particular piece of nonsense, I am most definitely not having a wank. For one thing, I’m male and multi-tasking is not my thing, and for another, my general lack of typing ability means that I primarily use my dominant hand for both activities; so if I’m doing one, I cannot be doing the other. QED.

But what about from the readers’ frame of reference?

Assuming anyone reads this, they will be reading it at a different point of time from when I wrote it. I am, therefore, unobservable because I am inside that box that is the internet. I could therefore, be wanking and or not-wanking when you read these words. As such, I would simultaneously be performing an act of masturbation, while also not masturbating at the same time. You, my dear reader, would never know unless you were able to somehow peek inside “the box” (presumably using a web cam or similar) while reading these words.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the audience; I present to you…

Schrödinger’s Wanker…

ZeN

The Naughty List

The 2017 Naughty ListIt’s that time of year again; when the mince pies you bought from whichever supermarket chain you frequent back in September have passed their “use-by” date, you can’t escape from Wham, Slade or Mariah Carey, and that fat, judgemental git in the red suit starts checking up on us again.

Well, fuck that; naughty IS nice as far as I’m concerned and, with that thought in mind, I bring you my 2017 “Naughty List“.

I compiled my first naughty list in 2015. Sadly, it no longer exists, and neither do quite a few of the blogs that were on it. I was on a bit of a hiatus in 2016 and so didn’t compile a list last year. Since my return, I’ve discovered a number of new blogs and been reacquainted with some old favourites.

I won’t bore you with the reasons as to why I like a particular blog or blogger; suffice to say that these are the ones I keep coming back to most often.  If you are on my list of bad girls and boys, congratulations, if you aren’t, sorry; we can still be friends can’t we?

So here, in the spirit of “Sharing Our Shit“, without any further ado, and in no order whatsoever I give you:

The ZeN Nudist/Kilted Wookie Naughty List 2017

Wear your (limited edition) “Naughty List” membership badge with pride…

ZeN

Share Our Shit

The One And Only Way…

Every now and then I stumble across one of those articles/posts that falls into the:

Real Doms

and:

You can’t be Dominant if you don’t

categories. These kinds of articles really piss me off.

Why?

Because they are a total load of shite!

It’s bad enough trying to kinksplain D/s to a vanilla audience but when the shite is being spouted by individuals pertaining to be in the D/s community, it just makes things worse.

D/s relationships are not about pain or punishment, they are not about forcing someone else to your will, they are not about power and control and exploitation.

Well, OK, that’s not strictly true. D/s relationships can be about those things if that is dynamic of a particular relationship. If it is, and it works, and the individuals are happy with it, then great. It can be about those things, but it doesn’t have to be.

So here’s the thing, as I see it, a D/s relationship is, first and foremost, a relationship. Every relationship is as unique as the people who live within it. Every relationship has its own dynamic, its own set of “rules” that make it work. Possibly even more so than is the case in purely vanilla relationships, trust, respect and honesty are the fundamental keystones and foundations of a D/s relationship. A Dom is not a Dom because they beat/punish/discipline their submissive. They are a Dom because they nurture and protect, guide and support their submissive. If within the context of that relationship this is demonstrated and achieved through spankings and/or other forms of discipline, then so be it. It works, so great.

Similarly, a sub isn’t a sub because they have no will of their own or are weak. Again, this may be how it plays out within a particular dynamic of a particular relationship, but it doesn’t mean it applies universally.

Even within the confines of one relationship, what was right yesterday, may not be appropriate today and what works today may, for a myriad of reasons, by off limits tomorrow.

D/s relationships have their issues and unforeseen circumstances just like any other relationship and, fundamentally, this is because they are just another relationship.

Anyone who says that “A Dom must do so and so” or “You can’t be a Dom if you don’t do such and such” or “If you are a sub, you must perform whatever” is basically talking out of their arse.  There is no one right way to do D/s just as there is no one right way to do any relationship. The fundamental essential foundations of any relationship are pretty much the same, regardless of the flavour.

If there is to be only one right way it is, quite simply, whatever way is right for you. A Dom doesn’t have to use their belt or a cane and a sub doesn’t have to be humiliated or locked up in a cage. If that’s what works for you, that’s fantastic, keep doing it and don’t let anyone else tell you that you are wrong. If it isn’t your thing, don’t feel that it should be because some “know it all” says you should. Do what is right for you because, ultimately, it’s nobody else’s business what  you and your partner(s) get up to within the context of the relationship you share with them.

ZeN

Dominance Through Cunnilingus

Wicked WednesdayOne of the things I really don’t understand is the idea that performing cunnilingus on a woman is somehow an inherently submissive act. I get that it can be. I realise that porn abounds with images of the Domme female forcing her sissy male to eat her out. I understand, really I do.

But just because something can be done in a submissive fashion, doesn’t make it inherently submissive. You will no doubt have read the views of many female bloggers, women who identify as submissive, on the “power” and “control” they feel when they are sucking a cock. Does this suddenly maker the submissive woman Dominant in that relationship? No, of course it doesn’t. The chances are, while she may still doing it to please her Dominant; I suspect however, that rather than sucking cock as an act of submission, mostly the women in question are sucking cock because they love to suck cock.

The same is true for me and cunnilingus. It is something I love to do. I love the taste of a woman. I love her reactions as I feast on her. On top of all that, I love the fact that when my face is between her thighs, her pleasure is mine to dictate. I can choose how rough or how tenderly I treat her. I can decide how much teasing she has to endure before my tongue moves between her labia and works over her clit. I can dictate the pace and the power. Furthermore, I have absolute control over her orgasm.

TOSPI can chose to award her one quickly. I can choose to prolong the experience. I can take her to the edge over and over until I relent. I can push her beyond the limits of her endurance, driving her over the edge repeatedly until she begs me to stop (which I alone will decide whether or not I do). I can, on occasion, take her to the very brink and then deny her the final release should I so desire.

So far from being a submissive act, cunnilingus is simply another tool in the Dominant’s arsenal; a tool that, when used effectively can reward and punish in equal measure.

Ultimately however, the main reason I go down on a woman, is simply because it is something I thoroughly enjoy doing, whatever the end result.

ZeN

TMI Tuesday – Sexy Specifics

TMI TuesdaySexy Specifics

  1. What do you find sexiest in a woman?
    I’ve written about this before . I don’t think there is any one thing that makes a woman “sexy”. While physical appearance/attraction may be the initial hook, what draws us in and lands us is a combination of things; looks, personality, humour, attitude, confidence. A self-assured woman with a hint of vulnerability who can fuck me with her eyes before a word has been spoken is pretty much my kryptonite.
  2. What do you find least sexy in a man?
    Being male and boringly straight, the thing I find least sexy about men is that they are men.
  3. Have you ever been the other woman or man? Would you do it again?
    Yes, I have been the other man. It wasn’t the easiest or best situation, but we both knew where we stood and what we wanted out of it (basically sex). The sex was very good and there were no “deeper” expectations. Would I do it again? I suspect not. I hope I never find myself in circumstances that even come close to those I was in at the time. Having said that, I guess I can’t entirely rule the possibility out. The most accurate answer is probably that I have no intention of doing it again, but circumstances can change.
  4. Who puts more into a romantic relationship you or your significant other?
    I think both parties have to put similar amounts of work/investment into a relationship or, ultimately, it ceases to be a relationship. That’s not to say the effort is equal all the time, but it should average out so that there are no obvious imbalances.
  5. Do you have a work wife” or “office husband?
    No, but since I work from home, if I did, it would have to be my cat, which would just be weird.

Bonus: Are you in a healthy relationship? What makes you think so?
See the answer to Q4 above.

ZeN

Naughty Scotland

Naughty ScotlandWhen I first started out, I wasn’t even aware that there was a Sex Blogging Community; it was just me, writing and posting my naughty stories. Now, of course, I am aware that I am part of a wonderfully rich and diverse community of sex positive people, who share their thoughts and opinions, write amazingly hot stories and poems, and post fantastic photographs.  All of them amazingly talented, and I am proud to part of this world.

Anyway, it was St. Andrew’s Day on Thursday and, as you are probably aware, I am Scottish. And since, apparently, we actually “invented” sex in the first place (thank you Microbrachius dicki), I thought it was only appropriate that I should take this opportunity to give a little publicity to those of us from North of the Wall. There may well be others out there that I have not yet discovered, so please let me know of any that I have missed.

(Naughty) Scotswha hae…

Share Our Shit

Here’s tae us
Wha’s like us
Damn few
And they’re a’ deid
Mairs the pity!

Sadly, not all of the above are still active, however, if you are Scottish and/or live in Scotland, and have a blog that you’d like included on this list, just leave me a comment below.

ZeN

No Worries…

Penis ProjectIt’s a strange one, isn’t it? Ask a woman what size her boobs are and, assuming she’s willing to divulge such information, she’ll tell you. Ask a man how big his cock is, and you’ll probably be met with something along the lines of: “Um, dunno, probably about 6 inches”. If you are really unlucky, he may take that as an invitation to send you a photo of it.

Now I suspect one of the reasons women know their measurements much more accurately than we men know ours is that they have to get themselves fitted to wear an uncomfortable garment that, ultimately, is still the wrong size; whereas we don’t need to worry about such things. Also, a woman’s boobs, even when modestly covered are still pretty much on display; whereas what we men have in our trousers is, by and large, more discreetly concealed.

It’s not that we men are reticent about our penises; far from it. Indeed, we seem to take the opportunity to proudly wave them about at every opportunity, so why are we generally so vague on their dimensions?

Well, for one thing, their dimensions are decidedly inconstant. Mine changes according to the mood I’m in, the temperature, whether or not I need to pee, my partner’s state of undress or what she happens to be doing at any given moment. When I’m cold it can shrivel down to virtually nothing, when aroused it is, well, whatever size it is.

The fact is that the women I’ve been with have all seemed to like it. When I was younger, before any member of the opposite sex had even seen my member, I used to have some concerns that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t “man enough” in that department, but such doubts were quickly dispelled by the first girl to see it (and subsequently feel it) and the comments that I have had directed about it have all been favourable.

#MasturbationMondayThe insecurity, such as it was, came from comparing my cock in its flaccid state with other lads my age. I am very much what you might describe as a “grower”. The other problem is, things always look smaller when you look down on them, and given that since my early teens I have been about 5′10″ that’s a reasonably long way down to look. Of course, even then, I knew that the size of a penis in its flaccid state bears no relation to its size when fully erect, but that was all I had to go on.

Even as I grew more confident, thanks to the appreciative comments of the women who saw it in the flesh, I’d still rather that their first view of it was in at least a semi-erect state.

I’m over such things now. Even when I had “hang-ups” I still knew that it wasn’t really the size that was the important thing, nor was my penis the only thing that gave women pleasure during sex.

I have learned that, ultimately, the important thing is, is that the woman I am with likes it and what I do with it. As for how big it is, um, I dunno, about 6″ I guess.

ZeN

My Belt

Wicked WednesdayThe crack it makes as I snap he ends together. The way you flinch with anticipation and apprehension at the sound. The soft, unblemished skin that has yet to feel its kiss.

The whistle in the air as it swings on its path. The way you tense as you wait for its contact. The mounting yearning for its stinging caress.

The drawn out moment as you wait to feel it. The unbearable slowness of the passage of time. The movement of the air as it approaches.

The resounding smack as it bites your skin. The mix of pain and pleasure as you cry out at its touch. The deepening crimson glow that marks its path.

The increasing heat and pain with every stroke. The intense arousal each kiss ignites. The relief that comes from knowing you’ve endured the final lash.

ZeN

Cheating

It’s one of those perennial “truth or dare” type questions that comes around now and again.

Have you ever cheated? If so, what were the reasons behind it, and how did you feel afterwards?

The honest answer to this question is: “Yes“. I’m not proud of the fact, despite the fact that some may say I had justification for doing so; but yes, I have cheated.

The circumstances, and I am not attempting to justify my actions, were difficult. My (then) wife had had at least three affairs that I was aware of. While not exactly turning a blind eye to such things, for the sake of my marriage and the fact that, despite this, I did love her, I was prepared to live with it. We were together for 16 years.

It was only in the last few, painful, months that I finally strayed myself.

Some might think it was a form of retaliation; it wasn’t. I didn’t actually go looking for someone else to have sex with, it just happened. The fact that the woman involved was, herself, married, only added to the generally fucked-upness of the situation.

I was at a pretty low place in terms of my depression (I had had a complete breakdown some months earlier) and I was flattered that, in my broken state, someone found me remotely attractive. The affair, such as it was, lasted about a year, continuing some six months after I eventually moved out.

Despite my circumstances, I still felt bad about it. Not because I’d held some moral high ground for sticking to my vows while my wife had flaunted hers, but because somehow I had become “that guy”; the one who uses his own sorry situation to get himself laid.

The sex, however, was very good. It filled a gap in what was left with the relationship with my wife. I didn’t feel guilty, nor did I feel a sense of vindicated retaliation. It was simply some very good sex, where there no longer was any sex at home (well, actually, there was sex going on at home, but it wasn’t me having it).

I still felt bad about it though.

Humans: we love to complicate things.

ZeN