The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job

#MasturbationMondayI am a guy and I will admit, quite unashamedly, that I love having my cock sucked. I’m going to go all “typically male” here and say that in the almost thirty years since I received my first blow-job, I’ve never had a bad one.

They aren’t the only women to have written on this subject, but, both Malin James and Girl on The Net, two bloggers that I hold In the highest regard  have written excellent articles on the subject of blow-jobs from a female perspective, and I thought I’d throw in my thoughts on the subject from my own male point of view.

Now, as I said above, I love having my cock sucked. Whether it be as part of foreplay, or an event in its own right; whether it be slow and leisurely, or hard and fast; each and every blow-job that I have ever had has been something to savour and enjoy for the experience itself.

When my cock is being sucked, in so much as I am able to think of anything at all, the two things that I am “thinking” are, generally how grateful I am that the woman I’m with has chosen to wrap her lips around my cock and take it into her mouth and, how much I’m enjoying it. I am most certainly not giving you a mark out of ten, I am not awarding points for artistic interpretation or technical merit, there is no tariff for difficulty. Neither, for that matter, am I comparing the person currently (hopefully) enjoying my cock with any other person, nor indeed (assuming the woman in question has sucked me before) am I comparing it with any other blow-job she has given me. There is no “Fantasy Blow-Job League” title that needs to be competed for. I am simply enjoying the experience of having my cock attended to by her mouth.

Now, it goes without saying, that the only person (and the only cock) I can speak about with any authority is me (and mine). What works for me and my cock may not work for another guy and theirs. I do not hold myself out as being in anyway representative of my gender and my particular likes and dislikes are my own.  But that is very much the point. It is a point that certain magazines with their “How to give the perfect blow-job” or “10 things to do with your mouth that will blow him away” articles spectacularly manage to miss. We are all different; every man, every woman, every cock, every mouth. Let’s even go one stage further here and say, every blow-job is different; each made unique by the circumstances and setting in which it is performed and the mood, needs and desires of the performer and performee.  The problem with these articles is that they assume we are all the same and that there is some magical “One Right Way” to do things, which is, of course, a total and utter load of horse manure. I’m pretty sure that no one who has ever written one of these pieces of sage advice has ever sucked my cock, so how the hell do they know how I like to have it sucked, and what right have they to tell anyone that if they suck it in a certain way, it’s guaranteed to be the best, most intense blow-job that I have ever had?

That’s not to say that there are certain things that I like to have done to my cock that will turn me on more than others; we all have our preferences, we all have our unique pleasure spots and things that we like to have done to them.  The chances are, no one going down on me for the first time is going to get this 100% “right”. How could they? They don’t know what I like other than the general, he’s a guy, he’s probably going to enjoy getting his cock sucked. Nor would I expect them to know.

The key, as with all things sex, is communication. Generally, the sounds I make will let you know I’m enjoying it, but I’m not adverse to giving occasional feedback. You know, the “That thing you did with your tongue just there, would you mind doing it again?” or “A bit harder/faster” or even sometimes “Please slow down a bit” kind of thing.

It’s not a performance. It’s not a test of skill. It’s an act of giving and receiving pleasure and of enjoying the experience, whether as the giver or the receiver. Practice may not necessarily make perfect, but it does give both partners a deeper understanding of what works for them.

Fuck the glossy magazines and their intensely patronising “Top 10 Tips For Fantastic Fellatio”. What do they know? If you want to blow my mind, just do what comes naturally and enjoy it. Surely that’s what it’s really all about.

ZeN

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16 thoughts on “The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job

  1. Nicely stated and everything you said is true. It’s a moment to savoir and you always hope your partner savoirs it as much as you do.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very enjoyable post. Oral sex is one of those things that is different each time for a variety of reasons and it’s nice to see a post about that view point. It’s not something with a scoring system, or play by play technique, but can be a beautiful experience shared between two people. Communication, honest and caring is the best and in my experience only way to enhance something that is already great on a number of levels

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Welcome to Masturbation Monday AND I love everything about this. I think plenty of people could use these reminders – and YES, communication is the key to it all.

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  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts during! I wish a lot of women I know who are so nervous about what to do could read this and relax, not worry about being judged. You made it so clear… not a performance, not a test of skill. The act of giving and receiving pleasure. YES EXACTLY!

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    1. Thank you. I don’t claim to be an expert in any sense, and I can only speak of the things that I enjoy and turn me on at any given point in time. Even for me, the same thing won’t always have the same results because it depends on so many factors that it never really is the “same thing” twice.

      I think the key thing, as always, is communication. If both partners enjoy it, go for it; but the only sure-fire way that you’ll know for sure is to let each other know.

      ZeN

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  5. Good morning. Blow jobs are fun. I love giving them when the cock is only half errect and feeling it grow is amazing. But I also love having a fully errect cock slammed down my throat with a power and a pleasure they must have. I hate and love gagging around a cock. But mostly I love sucking cocks because of how much they turn my partners on. I was once with a chap who said he didn’t enjoy them because they demeaned women. I think mostly it’s because he didn’t want to taste me. I like making up for lost time with men (and stapons) who enjoy it as much as me X

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    1. It’s another one of those things where, if you enjoy it, go for it. If you derive enjoyment from your partner’s enjoyment of what you are doing to/with/for them, then there really is nothing better.

      I can never understand why a man wouldn’t want to taste a woman, because it’s something I love doing so much, but I accept everyone has their own tastes and preferences, so that’s fine. As for demeaning, I can sort of see how it could be seen that way, and in a D/s scene, could be “used” that way if that is your particular kink, but if it’s something you enjoy, I don’t really see how it can actually be demeaning (unless being demeaned is your thing, but that’s another post in its own right.

      ZeN

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  6. This is great. I especially love the point you made about the media’s assumption that all men (and their cocks) are essentially the same, which is what all of those “10 Techniques He’ll LOVE” lists do. In addition to being less than empowering for women, that kind of click-bait does a huge disservice to guys too. What’s a guy supposed to think when he’s told that something should blow his mind but it doesn’t? Does that make him weird? Abnormal? Absolutely not. It’s just the line we’re all supposed to swallow – that there are certain universal standards and if you don’t meet them, you get put in the corner. Thanks so much for writing about this from the guy’s perspective – it’s a great post. I hope lots and *lots* of people read it.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. You hit the nail on the head. None of those “10 things” may actually blow me away, so to speak. I’m reasonably well adjusted enough to know that that is down to my own tastes. I know what I enjoy and an author whom I have never met, and has never sucked my cock doesn’t have a clue. All we know is that the author is claiming that those “10 things” worked wonders for their partner.

      Perhaps all such articles should be caveated with “Other sexual tips and techniques are available” 😉

      Was the “swallow” pun intentional? 😉

      ZeN

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  7. I love giving my husband a blow job and love swallowing when he comes. I think we should get all men to blog about what they think about when they get a blow job, what they like and what they don’t. Now won’t that be a great reference guide for women? Although, as you said, every blow job is different…

    Rebel xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m actually not too fussed about being sucked to orgasm. I can count on one hand the number of blow-jobs I’ve received that have gone all the way. For me it’s all about enjoying the experience of having something done to me for as long and as far as she wants it to last/go; and I am gratefully appreciative every time a woman chooses to take my cock between her lips.

      KW

      Like

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