- low in spirit or enthusiasm; downhearted or depressed; discouraged
For me, I generally find that this almost my default setting. I wake in the morning feeling anything but refreshed. I have no enthusiasm for the coming day. I drag myself along through a mixture of instinct and routine.
To the outside world, it makes me seem distant, impassive, cold, possibly uncaring. If I’m being honest, there are times when that is exactly what I wish I could be. If I didn’t care, it wouldn’t matter how I felt. If I could retreat from view, I wouldn’t need to wear my mask.
It’s not a sense of defeat. Defeat by its very nature implies a commitment of effort that was insufficient to overcome the challenge. It is more a sense of despondency, a shoulder shrug to the world, a sort of indifference, divorced from the the outside world.
Of course, we are never completely detached, no matter how much we would wish to be in our darkest phases; and we do care. It’s a caring that leads to more pain, because there is a sense of helplessness, a sense of being a burden.
Is it any wonder we become dispirited?