Utter bollocks


BollocksI came across this recently. Apparently it’s a fairly common meme with numerous variations on the same theme.  Thing is, bollocks like this really pisses me off; not least of all because it is precisely that: utter bollocks.

Let me explain…

I’ve given flowers. They are a gesture. Sometimes they are a “thank you”, sometimes they are a “sorry”; mostly they mark a specific occasion like a birthday, a wedding, a funeral, that sort of thing.  I have never given flowers in the expectation of, or in thanks for sex.

Now, some of you who give blow-jobs may, on occasion, give them as a “thank you” or a “sorry”; if that’s your thing, that’s cool. Whatever works is fine.

To me, however, flowers are flowers and blow-jobs are blow-jobs. If you want to give me flowers, fine; if you want to give me a blow-job, even better. Actually, given that I have an insufferably low pollen tolerance threshold, if you were inclined to give me flowers, I’d rather you saved your money or gave me a card/bought me a drink/gave me a blow-job instead; but that really is beside the point.

The Oral Sex ProjectSurely, if fellatio is “flowers” for men, then cunnilingus must, for the sake of universal balance, be “flowers” for women. All this begs the question: What the fuck are flowers “flowers” for?

Not only that, although I may not be one of them for the reason mentioned above, there are some men who actually quite like getting flowers as well as getting blow-jobs.

It all falls into the same category of bollocks as the whole “Real Men/Women Do…” thing, and it irks the fuck out of me.

Now, I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking: “well hold on there ZeN it’s just meant as a bit of fun, lighten up“; and I accept you are right.

It doesn’t mean that it’s not utter bollocks though, however humorous it’s trying to be.

ZeN

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8 thoughts on “Utter bollocks

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  1. hilarious. and yeah that meme is total bullshit. excuse my american-ness. even though I’ve picked up a lot of british-isms utter bollocks isnt one that rolls off the tongue.

    but getting back to things, this meme implies that a woman would rather get flowers than receive oral sex. which, let me tell you, is not how I stand. dont get me wrong, I love flowers. love them. I love when someone gives me flowers. brightens my day.

    but I really like having my pussy licked. that also brightens my day.

    meme’s like this are made by idiots who dont see women as sexual beings, but people who need to be coerced or forced into sex. because women dont like sex as much as men.

    bleh.

    Like

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