There are some bloggers, who are pretty much “out”. I’m thinking along the lines of people like Molly Moore and Tabitha Rayne. Whether or not they use their real names or pen names, their identities are pretty much known. They show their faces, and other bits. They are out and proud.
Then there are the “halfways”. This time I’m thinking May More and Helen Scott. They use what may (or may not) be their real names. They blog openly about subjects that affect/interest them personally. They participate in (potentially) revealing memes like #SinfulSunday. And yet, for all that we know that both have cracking breasts, we don’t really know who they are; we never see their faces.
Finally, there are the “anons”. People like Girl on The Net and myself (not that I’m holding myself out as being in her league). For all that we frankly discuss the aspects of sex and sexuality that interest and/or concern us, we remain hidden behind pseudonyms, our identities hidden to all but a trusted few who have met and know us.
Now this, sadly, is quite understandable. While the activities we in the community discuss so freely are “normal”, so called polite society does not deem them suitable for public consumption. There are many people who would not approve of me if they knew I was a sex blogger. I would almost certainly suffer professionally, despite the fact that the topics I write about are well within the bounds of what is considered to be normal human behaviour. It’s simply that, I write about a part of human behaviour that is conducted, for the most part, behind closed doors, and which, it seems, the majority of people would prefer not to be discussed at all.
Now, because I participate in #SinfulSunday, and occasionally post more explicit images on tumblr, it is, I guess, perceivable that my real identity could be gleaned by some sharp-eyed viewer. This is a risk I accept. Similarly, I enjoy meeting members of the community in real life and try to do so wherever my work travels take me. It is, after all, always nice to put a face to the boobs and/or arses I see every week. But every time I do so, I am entrusting them with my most precious secret, the real me. Of course, they are placing the same trust in me. There is, I guess you could say, an element of Mutually Assured Destruction in place.
Partially in jest, I once commented to Exposing40 that one of the bizarre things about our community is that often, the face is the last bit of each other that we see. It’s kind of inevitable I guess; It wouldn’t exactly be appropriate for us to meet up in a public location and try and identify each other by our naughty bits after all. That said, given that we would likely be the only people present with said naughty bits on display might make it a bit easier.
I fully accept and understand why those of us who blog openly about sex need to be protective of our identities, I just wish that now, in the 21st Century, such secrecy wasn’t required.
Which, finally, brings me to the point of this rambling post. This community is what it is because of the wonderful people who contribute to it; the writers, the reviewers, the photographers, the bloggers, the readers, the commenters and the lurkers. We need to look out for each other. The more observant among you may have noticed this post is slightly more link heavy than usual and the reason for that is that we need to “Share our Shit!”