Now, while this statement is absolutely 100% truthful, it doesn’t actually take into account the fact that, at the time I was having sex with them, I was actually still in a relationship with the woman in question, and so, at that particular point in time, she had yet to actually become an ex. OK, so I accept, that is a huge technicality, but it doesn’t negate the truth of my opening statement.
The fact is, however, that I have never had sex with someone after I have stopped being in a relationship with them so that they have become, in fact, an ex.
Generally, this has been for entirely logical reasons. In the case of my very first “proper” girlfriend, we moved apart when we left school and went our separate ways to University and, ultimately, met other people. This was in the late 1980’s so there were no mobile phones, social media, or email to keep in near constant contact with. If anyone thinks long-distance is hard nowadays, imagine it in the pre-internet dark ages.
Another couple of relationships at university were short term and simply fizzled out after the initial novelty wore off.
And then, of course, there is “THE EX“, i.e. my ex-wife.
In total, we were together for 16 years and married for 12 of those. I was her “first” although, she had done pretty much everything else apart from intercourse with her previous boyfriend. I was slightly more experienced than she was by virtue of the partners mentioned above, but not by very much and the overwhelming majority of what I know about my sexual tastes, desires, preferences, attitudes and appetites were learned during those 16 years that I spent with her.
Our split, when it happened, was particularly hard. I still carry the scars of it some 12 years later. Oddly, however, even as the relationship itself fell apart, the one thing that remained absolutely great right up until almost the very end was, surprise surprise, the sex. We had drifted apart as people, to the point where we were two separate individuals living under the same roof as opposed to the unit we had been as a couple. We were, in fact, by this stage, also both having sex outside what remained of our relationship. All in all it was pretty toxic and was damaging my health, but when we fucked, for that brief interlude, everything clicked back into place.
I suspect it was the long and easy familiarity we had for each other’s bodies and the things that turned us on. There was also a very definite element of anger and resentment towards each other in the way we fucked that, perversely, just made the fucking even better while, at the same time, hastened the relationship’s final ending.
I’ve had a couple of relationships since we split, and she married the guy she was fucking behind my back. All things considered, we are on reasonably good terms, although we only actually speak to each other when we absolutely have to.
Knowing how good the sex between us was, could I ever go back?
Simple answer, no. In the infinitesimally unlikely event that the possibility ever arose, I really don’t think that would be a good idea for either of us.