You Scratch My Back…

I’ll be honest, I’ve never really been one for leaving bite or scratch marks on my partners’ skin. If I’m going to leave a mark, it’ll be that of my hand, or my belt, causing the skin on their arse to glow a deep, rosy red.

Even as a youngster, I was never really into leaving love-bites on whichever girl I was going out with at the time or, even less so, have her leave them on me.

So, on the whole, when it comes to leaving any kind of mark on a partner’s skin, while I may be a “spanker” or a “belter”, I am not a “scratcher”.

Having said that, when you are on the receiving end, it can be a very effective form of non-verbal communication.

If I am going down on a woman, if she is digging her fingers into the skin of my shoulders or the back of my neck/head, I can usually be pretty confident that I’m doing something with my lips and tongue that she is enjoying.  If these involuntary movements are accompanied by pleasurable moans, sighs and/or cries, then I can take it that may going down on her, is going down very well with her.

Similarly, when we are fucking, if her fingers are clawing at my back, or digging into the cheeks of my arse, I have never had to assume that I’m doing something wrong. Again, if she is vocalising her pleasure, such actions only serve to reinforce the fact that she is enjoying my attentions and serve as a source of encouragement to continue doing what I’m doing.

In both the instances described above, any such scratching that has occurred has, almost entirely, arisen involuntarily; it has been incidental, resulting from her reaction to what I have been doing. The idea of scratching as a deliberate action does, I have to say, do nothing for me, but when done as an reflexive reaction to something I have done, is definitely a compliment.



10 thoughts on “You Scratch My Back…

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    1. That kind of subconscious scratching is fine. I kind of quite like it. It’s the deliberate act of scratching that doesn’t appeal in my case. The idea of actively doing it as a turn-on just doesn’t work for me. The involuntary scratching as a response to something I’m doing, on the other hand, I have no issue with at all.

      We’re all different I guess, and that’s what makes it so interesting.


  1. I think there is something very sexy about those kind of scratch marks afterwards too. If I have ever left them behind they have made me grin to myself when I see them



  2. It seems men with a more dominant bent like scratching in this way. A back scratch included. Other than those options, it seems scratching is a no overall from what I’ve seen


    1. I think, maybe because we hear so much about the Dominant leaving their mark that sometimes we lose sight of the fact that submissives like/need to “mark their territory” too.


  3. Interesting that you mention the intention or deliberation of scratching – when I was younger (early twenties), digging my nails into someone was often performative rather than subconscious because it was something women did in porn, so I thought it was a thing women were supposed to do during sex.


    1. That’s an interesting idea, and not one that I’d ever considered. For me, I’ve always just assumed it was something that was being done to me, as a response to what I was doing to her. That said, in my youth, I didn’t have access to much in the way of porn, so I suspect it possibly just didn’t register.


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