Sexual Friendships

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayI have one “Golden Rule”: never fuck friends.

That probably needs a bit of qualifying since, as it stands, it tends to imply that I only ever fuck people I don’t particularly like, and that is not the case.

A little background…

The vast majority of my closest friend are, and always have been female. For whatever reason, I prefer the company of women over my own gender. It’s not that I don’t have good male friends, because I do, but my closest friendships have, almost without exception, been women. I will admit that over the years, sometimes I may have wished for there to have been a bit more than platonic friendship; there have definitely been instances, in both directions, where there have been unrequited “feelings” (in at least one case, the feelings were actually requited, but neither of us actually had the courage to admit it until 20 dd years later…), but as for anything sexual happening,that has always been a big no-go area for me.

Actually, that’s not enirely strictly the truth; I have quite a few friends (one or two that I include – now at least – as being some of my closest friends) that I have had sex with but, the key thing is, in these cases,the sex happened first, the friendship grew out of there being more than just physical/sexual attraction and, what is possibly more important.

For me, the direction of “travel” can only ever be one way: a fuck-buddy can become a friend with benefits and, when the “benefits” run their course a  deep, lasting friendship can remain. A friend however, however, can never become a friend with benefits/fuck buddy.

I have only once come close to breaking this rule. The woman involved was the person that “inspired” this particular post. Circumstances, and distance meant that we never actually did fuck (although in the context of an online-only relationship, you could say that we did “have sex”. The consequences of that slip-up have already been written about and,only serve to reinforce my long stated belief that you should never fuck a friend.



4 thoughts on “Sexual Friendships

Add yours

  1. I think it is always good to have certain “ground rules” in place. We may not always keep them, but they serve to keep us “right” in terms of our own values.


    1. I agree. Such “rules” aren’t set in stone, but simply reflect who I am and the person I see myself as. There may be someone who will change my view, but I will always be cautious. I don’t think I’d ever risk damaging a friendship just for the sake of a fuck.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: