This week’s questions are a little bit difficult, largely because I don’t really tend to think of things, particularly when it comes to sex, in terms of something as absolute as being “my favourite”. I’m one of those people who has a fairly strong sense of knowing what I do and don’t like but, as I’m sure you are all sick of me saying, circumstance dictates what is “right” in the moment. So, taking the questions in reverse order, as that seems most appropriate to the way may brain is working today…
Is there something you think you would enjoy but haven’t tried yet?
Maybe I’m just being unimaginative, but the simple answer to this one is “no”. I’ve been sexually active for as near to 30 years as makes no difference and, in that time, I’ve probably tried most things I can think of that I thought I might like. If there’s something I haven’t done, then it’s probably because it didn’t appeal to me.
Is there a favourite place for having sex?
Again, probably unsurprisingly, the answer is “no, not really.” The vast majority of my sexual activity has taken place indoors and, most commonly, in bed, but it’s probably to say there isn’t a room in any of the homes I’ve had in the past 30 years that I haven’t had sex in. Sofas, tables, showers, kitchen worktops have all featured and, during the sexual encounter in question, have been enjoyed. Outdoor sex (assuming it’s warm enough for it) is also something I enjoy and it has that risk element that comes from the chance of being caught/observed that can increase the enjoyment level. Certain locations, like the shower for example, I’m slightly less keen on but, if I’m having sex, my geographic location and the surface beneath us aren’t really important in the heat of the act itself.
What positions do you prefer and why?
I don’t have a favourite position but I am, however, very tactile; so I enjoy positions that allow for lots of skin contact. I also tend to prefer face-to-face positions; firstly because I like kissing during sex, but also because I enjoy watching the expressions on my partner’s face change in response to the things we are doing. Having said that, sometimes all that either of us really wants is a had, fast, primal, animalistic fuck, in which case, taking her from behind, whether she’s on all-fours, bracing herself for balance, or bent over the arm of the sofa, is most appropriate for satisfying that particular need. I guess, really, they type of sex we are in the mood for tends to dictate the positions that we use in those circumstances and, possibly unconsciously, we tend to fall back on the ones that “work” best for the mood we are in.
What are your favourite sexual things to do?
I’ve mentioned before that I like to engage all my senses during sex. I also enjoy a long, protracted build-up to get us in the mood and stoke the desire. I enjoy watching my partner pleasure herself; watching her face, listening to the sounds she makes, encouraging her as she brings herself to climax.
It would be remiss of me not to mention cunnilingus at this point. I’ve written so often about that particular subject and the way that provides an almost sensory overload as I get to touch, watch, listen and taste her. There’s the sense of “control” over her climax as I use my lips and tongue and fingers to play her body like the most exquisite musical instrument.
Being male, it pretty much goes without saying that I love to have my cock sucked. For someone who likes to be in control, there is something wonderful about being able to let go and let someone else set the pace; to put my pleasure in their hands (or, more accurately, mouth) and let them dictate what happens.
Finally, and obviously, there is, of course, penetration itself. Whether it’s slow and sensual, or fast, rough and primal, it is the joining of two bodies, the ultimate closeness, the ultimate sharing; your body for their pleasure and theirs for yours. Again, there are the sights, the sounds, the scents and the sensations as your give yourselves to each other. The moans, the sighs, the slapping of skin on skin as my body joins with hers. There is the build-up towards climax; the exquisite pain as you try to hold on. And then, of course, there is the final release.
Of course, as I mentioned last week, orgasm isn’t the end. The closeness of the post-coital snuggle is as much an important and enjoyable part of the experience as all the others; the shared recovery and return from our mutual heights.
So, basically, what this all really amounts to is that my favourite thing about sex is sex itself, in all its wonderfully rich and varied forms.