- Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?
I’ve written before about how, for me, sex is a highly sensory experience. For me, sex is very much in the here and now; being responsible for and responding to every sight, sound, scent, taste and touch. It is about taking pleasure from the act of giving pleasure.
- If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)
It would either have to be my first “proper” lover, simply because of the fact that everything was so new and exciting and fresh. We may not really have known what we were doing, but there was a heady exhilaration to discover and revel in new experiences. Alternatively it would be my most recent partner. With a lifetime of experiences, we both knew exactly what we enjoyed and found a very easy and extremely satisfying sexual compatibility.
- You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation
I’m not especially bothered about 69; enjoyable as it can be, I find it hard to concentrate on either the giving or the receiving when they are happening at the same time. I’ve written before about how much I enjoy performing cunnilingus, and having my cock sucked. Both of these, however, are very much one sided. The person performing them derives pleasure from the fact the other person is (hopefully) enjoying what is being done to them, but the primary pleasure is that of the recipient. In that respect, simply for the fact it allows both partners “to do and be done unto”, I would go for mutual masturbation. Also, being very tactile, I am big on touch and using the hands means that more of our bodies can be explored and stimulated than would simply be the case through oral sex.
- With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?
It’s a little bit of both. I haven’t got to my stage of life without knowing what I like sexually. Having said that, as I keep saying, a large part of my pleasure derives from the pleasure my partner is experiencing, so I am always keen to find out what they enjoy and be guided by them. If that means there are certain parts of my “repertoire” that I use more or less frequently with a given partner, then that is fine. There’s no point doing something that one partner doesn’t particularly enjoy when there are so many other things that can give both a lot of enjoyment.
- Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?
No specifically no. I initiate sex because I enjoy sex and want to have sex. The fact that it may have benefits above and beyond the fact that it is something enjoyable to do is a bonus.
Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?
In as much as anyone can, I guess. I understand that they are all as different and unique as the woman they belong to. I know they all respond to stimulation in their own ways and that what works for one doesn’t necessarily have the same effect on another. The fun part is getting to know each one well enough so that you understand what it (and its owner) want and enjoy. The key, I guess, is be prepared to listen to your partner and let her tell/guide you in what she (and her clitoris) like.