New & Interesting

Wicked WednesdayHaving sex with a new partner, especially the first time, can be somewhat nerve-wracking. Even for people like me who don’t really have hang-ups or body-image issues, it’s still a bit daunting.  There’s the whole “Will she still fancy me when I get my clothes off?”, or “What if I do something she doesn’t like?”, or “How will I know if she does like something?” With an “experienced” partner, you have knowledge of their do’s and don’ts, you know what they like, you understand their desires, passions and wants (or, at least, you should do if you’ve been paying them any attention) and they also know a bit about you. Familiarity breeds the ability to just get on with getting down and enjoying each other’s bodies.

With a new partner, however, there is a definite element of uncertainty. Will she want me to go down on her and will she enjoy it if I do? Will she want to go down on me and enjoy that too? How hard and how fast does she like it? What positions does she prefer? Is my cock big enough? Does she like her men hairy? All of these things, and possibly many more, go through my mind.

That, however is what makes these encounters interesting and exciting. It’s the experience of becoming experienced. It’s those wonderful little discoveries you make when you touch her and she responds in a way that makes it clear she likes it.

I know the things that I like to do and what I like to have done to me. When you are getting to know a new partner, things may sometimes be awkward, but there is a lot of fun to be had discovering the things that the over person likes to do and have done to them. Once you’ve determined where your and their likes overlap, you can begin to experiment a bit, knowing that you have those mutual likes to return to if what you try doesn’t quite do it for one or both of you.

Sometimes there is the added thrill of discovering something that you or they weren’t particularly keen on before is now a definite “must have” just because you/they have done it slightly differently.

With a familiar partner, interest is sustained by knowing what you both like and using that to maximise each other’s pleasure; building a form of positive feedback where each reaction drives an affirmative action.  With a new partner, part of the interest is derived from discovering the acts that create such feedback.

Ultimately, however, whether your having sex for the first time, or have been having sex for several years, there are plenty of ways to keep things interesting.



8 thoughts on “New & Interesting

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  1. Lovely reassuring post which arrived just when I was asking myself those questions. Thanks KW, I always find your writing insightful.

    I’ve also discovered that for me a particular emotional/erotic attachment allows me to consider – no actively desire – to do things to/with this person that I either haven’t done before or have done with someone else and not wanted to continue. Simply because I am so “into” them as a person, and want to connect on the deepest levels possible with them.
    Just saying.
    Indie x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely get that. With the right partner, some of those things that we thought were limits and no-go areas suddenly become considerably less limited in their appeal and ability to provide pleasure. If you’ve had a bad experience of something with a previous partner, it isn’t always easy to overcome your reservations about it with someone else, but it can be done.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m actually thinking I have huge anxiety associated with taking up a new partner (wtf happened to me?!) so really appreciate the timing highlighting the positives of this while still acknowledging the concerns.


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