Women Shouldn’t Need To Play Rape Roulette


I’ve never really been a fan of any of the Murdoch media outlets, but the following tweet by @SkyNews was a new low even by their standards:

Judging by the comments, I’m not the only person who took issue with this sloppy “journalism” (assuming it can even be dignified by the word).

Surely, the only headline necessary was:

Man convicted of raping woman

Or, maybe since they drew attention to the fact that the victim had been drinking:

Man convicted of raping vulnerable woman

Either way, the point is that it is the woman who is the victim, not the man. The man is a criminal, nothing less. The only person culpable for his crime is him.

Women have been making this point since the beginning of time, but it’s is long since time that us Y-chromosomed types got involved too.

Lets make this quite clear:

  • Flirting does not equal consent
  • “Suggestive” behaviour does not equal consent
  • How someone dresses does not equal consent
  • Drinking alcohol does not equal consent
  • Cuddling does not equal consent
  •  Foreplay does not equal consent

Let’s not even restrict ourselves here. Even if we allow that some other form of sexual activity, e.g. oral sex, implies the possibility of consent, it doesn’t actually explicitly mean consent has been given for any other form of sexual activity.

Rape is a crime. Sex without consent is rape. If consent has been withdrawn because the woman changes her mind, and you continue, it’s still rape.

Wicked WednesdayThere are still far too many men that seem to think that they have an entitlement to sex. Let’s be totally clear on this one, they don’t! No one is entitled to sex. Rape is real, rape is a crime and the only person responsible for rape is the rapist himself. No action on the part of the victim invites violation. Women do not encourage men to rape them. Anyone who claims otherwise is simply either a rape apologist or is making excuses for their own inability to act like a decent human being.

And yes, I know it goes without saying that #NotAllMen are sex criminals, but her’s the thing, it may very well not be every man, but it could quite easily be any man. Sex criminals generally don’t wear badges announcing the fact, so women generally have no way of knowing if they are engaging with one or not until it’s too late.

I would like to think that, by the law of averages, there are more “good” men out there than not, so in the majority of cases the woman should be safe to go about her business, but I could just be being hopelessly naive.

Naive or not, the simple fact is that no man should ever find an excuse for this kind behaviour in another man. Every time we try to mitigate a rapists actions, we belittle the crime they have committed and undermine the innocence of their victims.

We shouldn’t need to educate people to identify who is in the wrong in these cases, but clearly we still do. Sadly #NotAllMen will stand up and be counted, but it doesn’t need to be every man, so long as any man is willing to do what is right.

ZeN

 

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12 thoughts on “Women Shouldn’t Need To Play Rape Roulette

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  1. It is depressing that we still need to discuss these cases in this way and that media outlets can’t report with balance. Why do some men behave in this way? What an awful experience for the women, something that much continue with the trial and this kind of reporting.

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    1. Sadly, victim blaming isn’t something that just men are guilty of, but there should never be a need to try and justify the actions of those who are guilty of the crime. Most of us grow up and learn that we are not “entitled” and we behave like decent, respectful human beings. Those that don’t have only themselves to blame for their failings as humans.

      ZeN

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  2. I agree with what you are saying completely and hope that things will change. The fact that it is still so hard to get a conviction in such circumstances mean that many victims feel that they have been blamed.

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    1. I accept that it’s a difficult one. In the majority of cases there are no other eye-witnesses and the only people who know what really happened are the people involved and each will have their own perception of the event in question. Sometimes it will come down to which of the parties is more convincing that their version of events is the most genuine one. Human justice is not and cannot be a perfect system, I do get and understand that.

      Victims (whether there is a conviction or not), need our understanding and compassion, not our condemnation. Nor should we attempt to give any form of justification or vindication to the assailants for their actions.

      I don’t have a lot of faith in the goodness of human nature at the best of times; it seems to me that we are a fundamentally flawed species and these kinds of cases just reinforce my already low opinion of my fellow men.

      We need to fundamentally change perceptions. How we achieve this, I’m at a loss, but I suspect a much more objective reporting of such crimes by the media might help a little.

      ZeN

      Liked by 1 person

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