Self Indulgence

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayI have referred to my masturbatory “dry-spell” before. For reasons due to my depression and the medicine I take to control it, attempting to provide myself with a little “personal relief” all to often results in causing more frustration than it alleviates. Such being the case, it is something I have more or less given up on, as effort and frustration far outweighs any benefit I may derive from it.

In those days when I was much more inclined, I always used my hands. It is, I suppose, entirely possible that toy use could help alleviate my current masturbatory reticence, but I suspect I will never know for sure. I’m not knocking the use of male masturbation aids; I know that many men find them highly enjoyable, they are, however, just not my thing.

#MasturbationMondayWhile I have often enjoyed watching partners masturbate; for me, doing it myself has almost always been a private pleasure. This isn’t so much a personal preference on my part; more that the partners I have had have almost invariably preferred to be actively involved in my pleasure rather than watch me pleasure myself.

I’ve never had any particular tips or tricks. I don’t generally indulge in fantasy. For me it has always been sufficient to just lie back and enjoy the sensations; from bringing myself to erection, through the slow teasing and varied pace and pressure, ultimately to the exquisite pain/pleasure of release. The cycle of arousal and then repeated denial before finally allowing climax has always been enough for me. I have employed what almost amounts to a form of masturbatory mindfulness; being aware of my deepened breathing, my heightened heart rate, the increased tension in my body, all of them building until surge of orgasm resets the balance.



12 thoughts on “Self Indulgence

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  1. Lovely post – and I like the phrase you have coined ‘maturbatory mindfulness’
    I have written about the dips in my libido – often down to motherhood but not always. While I don’t really indulge in fantasies (just wispy ideas flit through my head) I do love the pictures that erotica paints on my mind (probably why I am so keen to write it too) so if you find yourself stories which flick your switch, that may well get your mind back on sexy track when you are without partner and your urges need a bit of a kick start. But in the end being happy in yourself is key so no requirement to beat yourself up for meeting anyone else’s target on the desire scale.


    1. It’s something I have become used to and I simply accept that that is how I am wired. I am fortunate that I’ve never really been the type that judges myself based on what others can do. I miss the higher sex-drive of my younger years, but it doesn’t detract in any way from the enjoyment of the sex I have now.


  2. Different parts, different thinking about masturbation, different use of toys, BUT I too don’t really use fantasies to masturbate. I tried in the past, but they’re not really my thing. I want the feeling, the sensation, and the pleasure. I don’t really need anything else to go with that — other than my hand or toy.


  3. Oh, it can be so tough getting the meds you need and balancing out the side effects. I hope you find your masturbatory mojo again soon.


    1. Thank you. The strange thing is, I don’t actually miss it all that much, which is either another convenient side effect of the medication, a symptom of depression, or just a sign of advancing age… 😉


  4. I’m sorry to hear health challenges are affecting your libido. If ever you find yourself motivated to try masturbating again, it might be helpful to remember that sexual tastes/preferences do change over time. It’s possible that a different kind of stimulation or the inclusion of fantasy is required to rev your engines now.

    Granted, there’s nothing wrong with embracing an asexual lifestyle either. Whatever you decide, I fully support you!


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