Many years ago, late at night, I was alone, at home, in bed, chatting online on MSN to a friend of mine. The friend in question was, of course, female. The conversation was, as the conversations we had so often were, flirty and decidedly frank. I can’t remember which of us first mentioned that our particular chat that night was getting us a bit hot under the collar, but I do remember her asking me what I would say if she told me she was tempted to get dressed and drive to mine. Despite it being past 1am in the morning, my response was that the door would be open and that she should let herself in. Less than 30 minutes later we were fucking with an intense abandon that left us both happily drained. She left to go home sometime after 3am.
More recently another friend who has occasionally featured on this blog. Again it was an online chat, neither of us could sleep. A suggestion was made. I responded that I could be there in about 20 minutes. We fucked hard and fast in the kitchen. A little later, we fucked again, more liesurely this time, on the sofa. Both times we had to be as quiet as possible as her (then) teenage daughter was asleep upstairs.
Over the years, I’ve had a number of “Friends with Benefits” style arrangements. The “with benefits” side of things has lasted for for longer with some than others, but the “Friends” bit has in almost every case lasted long after the “with benefits” bit has passed. I have written about this before, but while “Friends with Benefits” may, in time, become simply friends, the flow never goes in the other direction. True friendship can grow out of a purely physical/sexual relationship, but I strongly believe that sex should never be introduced to an existing platonic friendship.
I’ve never intentionaly had a “one night stand” although some of my hook-up situations have, as a result of circumstance, only happened once. This is, I think, quite an important distinction. For me, a “one night stand” is pretty much summed up by the name; its a one off, there is no expectation (or possibly desire) for it to happen again. A “once only” situation is simply that; if circumstances allow, there is the possibility (however remote) that there could be a subsequent encounter, although the liklihood of the situation arising may not be particularly high.
Another distinction, I think, is between the “hook-up” and the “booty-call”. The two examples above fall, I would say, into the latter category. There was a need experienced by both parties, and there was an opportunity for us to address that need. It wasn’t planned in advance; in both cases the situation evolved as it happened. My “once only” situations have been more in the “hook-up” category. They have been planned days/weeks in advance (most likely via twitter), we met at a pre-arranged time and place, and then we’ve fucked (usually more than once to make the most of the time together that we had) before returning to our everyday lives. Usually there is an open invitation that we might do it, again sometime, sometimes there isn’t; once was enough. Sometimes circumstances allow for a subsequent get-together, and sometimes the don’t. Ultimately though, whether it happens once, twice, or countless times, the most important thing is that everyone enjoys the experience.