Silently Screaming

Mind Matters - #SB4MHThis is one of those posts that probably won’t be read by many people. My main twitter account is currently off and my secondary account isn’t connected to my blog in any way, so in terms of promotion, if you don’t follow my blog via wordpress reader, the chances are, you’ll never know.  Truth be told, even if you do find it, there probably will be nothing in it to hold anyone’s interest.

My mood, as it is wont to do, has plummeted. Concentration is increasingly difficult. Human interaction is being avoided both consciously and unconsciously. I am at that point where I simply cannot be bothered; I am existing more than I am living. I am cast adrift in a sea of futility.

At it’s worst, for me, depression transcends mere mental health; it permeates deep into my very marrow while shrouding my soul in a blanket of darkness.

I am worn down, emotionally exhausted. The energy expended simply being awake, tires me to the point where I crave the oblivion of sleep; except that sleep itself is denied to me. I exist in a cognitive fog. “I don’t want to be” is my internal repeating refrain.

Imprisoned in a cell whose dimensions are those of my own mind, and whose walls are made of impenetrable darkness, I scream in silent anguish.

The world sees my carefully constructed facade that appears both calm and self-assured, oblivious to the turmoil just beneath its surface; the storm that consumes my spirit, the dark cloud that cocoons me in its cold embrace.



6 thoughts on “Silently Screaming

Add yours

  1. I missed you, KW, and my search led me here. I’m sorry to find you’re struggling so badly. Rest when you can and fight on. You know where to find me, or I’ll wait to see your wicked humour and naughtiness lighting up my TL once more x


  2. I wish very much that your words were alien to me, but atlas they are not. The lows, no matter how deep, or length are temporary, if not too often frequent. Hang in there KW.


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