As a very general rule, unless I’m sick or exhausted, in which case the chances of me being up for sex are slim to non-existent, when my mind is in the mood, my body is too. Dropping out of the zone, so to speak, is not really something that has been an issue for me; if anything, where I may sometimes have a problem, is getting in the mood to start with.
Again, this has tended to be less of a problem than it could be. The main contributing factor to me being “in the mood” or not is, not at all bizarrely, my mood. Suffering from depression, my mood can vary vastly and without much in the way of warning but, one area where I can count myself luck is that I don’t recall my mood ever changing during sex. After sex, there can sometimes be a come down, and before sex, well, if my mood is low, it’s unlikely sex will happen, but during sex seems to be on of my “safe” times.
I’ve always been open about depression and how it, and the medication I take to manage it, can affect my mood and, therefore, sex. My significant partners have all been aware of it, have learned what to look out for and are aware that there will be times when I’m just not down for getting (or going) down. It can be a cause, sometimes, of frustration for them. It can also become something of a vicious circle for me in that I know that their frustration is down to my mood meaning I’m not able to connect fully with them, as a person even more so than as a partner, and this, in turn, can make me feel even worse, exacerbating an already emotionally draining situation.
The only “failing” that sometimes occurs is with orgasm. I can be in the mood, fully engaged, giving it everything I have and it just won’t happen. My excitement and arousal phases are probably within the range of what would be considered normal. It’s the plateau phase where things can go awry. It either ends abruptly, giving me little warning of my impending climax, or it goes on, and on, and on, until eventually I have to make my excuses and admit defeat.
Again, my significant partners have all been aware of this, they have all known that it isn’t down to something they did or didn’t do, it’s simply the way my mind and body are wired and that signals between the pleasure centres of my brain and my sexual apparatus sometimes get scrambled or go completely astray.
The key to dealing with these issues is, of course, open and honest discussion. It’s not something that people like to talk about, sometimes especially so with their partner, but doing so avoids confusion and misunderstanding and, sometimes, allows you to have a wry laugh about the general perversity of the human condition.