Word for Wednesday – Hedonism

Hedonism

/ˈhiːdəˌnɪzəm; ˈhɛd-/
noun
  1. Ethics
    (a) the doctrine that moral value can be defined in terms of pleasure
    (b) the doctrine that the pursuit of pleasure is the highest good
  2. the pursuit of pleasure as a matter of principle
  3. indulgence in sensual pleasures

I am a sensualist. When it comes to sex, I am all about the senses; the more the senses are involved, the more intense the experience.

Sight
Men are, apparently, visual creatures. I am no exception. I’m not just talking about the enjoyment of seeing my partner naked; although that is part of it. It’s about seeing their reactions. How a certain touch makes them respond. The involuntary twitches/flinched, the changes in their expression; it’s a form of visual feedback that is, in itself, a rewarding experience.

Wicked WednesdaySound
Sound is such a strong sensual element of sex. There are the sounds your partner makes; the moans, the gasps, the sighs, the verbal tics that demonstrate their pleasure. There are the sounds of leather striking skin, the sounds of the bed protesting beneath us, the sounds of two bodies moving together in a sexual collision. Then there’s the sounds of orgasm itself; mine and, more importantly, hers. It is the confirmation that I have taken her to that highest plane of pleasure.

Scent
I am anosmic. Not fully so, but my sense of smell is very weak. It is still an important sense. When I’m going down on a woman, her scent combines with her taste, making my enjoyment of this particular activity even stronger.

Touch
I am extremely tactile. I love touching and being touched. I love the feel of my partner’s skin against mine. But it’s also about how my partner responds to my touch. How she reacts as I touch her nipples, how wet she gets as I slide my fingers into her, the sensations as her lips slide along my cock. Then there is that wonderful feeling as her wet warmth surrounds my hardness; the insides of her thighs rubbing against the oustides of mine as our bodies move together.

Taste
From the taste of her perspiration on her skin, to the sweet richness of her juices as I lick her, taste is a deep sensual experience. When I’m face down between her thighs, I can gauge her arousal from her flavour.

Each sense provides its own sensations, it’s own element of the overall experience. For a sensualist like me, the more the senses are engaged, the higher the arousal, the deeper the pleasure and the fuller the enjoyment.

ZeN

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TMI Tuesday – Tell the Truth

TMI TuesdayTell the Truth

  1. A friend gave you a pie touting it as a favourite family recipe, and you ate this pie and got sick–or had an allergic reaction. The friend calls a few days later to ask, “How did you like the pie?” What would you say?
    I would have to be honest and say I got sick (as it may have had some off ingredients) or an allergy (so that they know not to give me the same thing again). I would also let them know that, despite the unfortunate consequences, whether or not I liked it.
  2. Your significant other really wants to try the “swingers’ lifestyle” but you really do not want to do this. Do you:
    a. Tell him/her no, you are not interested
    b. Do it, and go along to make her/him happy
    c. Say yes, because you’ll try anything once
    d. Say no, with no explanation and forbid your significant other from venturing into swinging.
    Well, as I personally would have no problem with this whatsoever, I suspect my first reaction would be to look into how we could make it happen. There is a swingers club in Edinburgh, so I suspect that would be my first point of call.If this question really did apply to me, I would admit that it wasn’t my thing. I wouldn’t, however, forbid them from exploring it.
  3. Have you texted nude photos to someone and had it come back to bite you in the ass – as in someone taking revenge for your misjudgement?
    Fortunately no, but then I am very careful about who I send photos to, and the ones I post online are fairly anonymous.
  4. Have you or would you ever stop having a relationship with someone who had a weight problem, and their physique drastically changed?
    Seriously? What kind of shallow bastard would do this.  I think if I were actually that kind of person, ironically, the other person could do far better than me anyway, so I’d be doing them a favour.
  5. Would you rather find true love or win the lottery with winnings of £10,000?
    I suspect possibly true love (if it exists). I’m not especially material, and while I can’t deny £10k would be a nice windfall, it wouldn’t ultimately make me a happier person.

Bonus: Which topic of conversation do you avoid at all costs – politics or religion?
I think the current state of the world is such that they are both so tightly intertwined, you almost cannot discuss one without the other being part of it; so in that respect, I try equally hard to avoid both.

ZeN

Watching

#MasturbationMondayMuch as I enjoy being responsible for my partner’s orgasm, there is something intensely arousing and intimate when I watch her pleasure herself.

I love to watch as she slides her hands over her body; stroking, touching, pinching and flicking. I love listening to the sounds she makes as she turns her self on, her arousal slowly deepening. I love to watch the expressions on her face, the widening of her eyes, the trembling of her lip as she finds a particularly sensitive spot.

I know that she knows I am watching and getting turned on by what I see. It may have started out as a show for me, but as her arousal glows, it becomes less and less about me and, as it should, more and more about her.

She sighs as she tugs sharply on her nipples. She moans as she slowly works one, then two fingers inside herself.

I smile, as she raises her fingers, glistening with her juices to her lips and tastes herself, moaning as she enjoys her own flavour.

Her fingers slide more rapidly; in and out, twisting as she fucks herself. I see those all to familiar movements, the tightening around her eyes, the shaking of her head, the rocking of her hips.

Her breathing quickens as her fingers drive her onwards. Each breath, a murmur, a moan, a sigh of pleasure.

I can see the flush rise on her skin; I can almost feel how close she is.

“Come,” I say softly, “Let yourself go.”

Her back arches sinuously, lifting her bottom off the bed. A series of soft, sharp, gasping cries escapes from her mouth as she surrenders to her climax.

Lost in the throes of her climax she barely notices as I cuddle up to her and hold her tight.

Her breathing returns slowly to normal. Her body shakes less violently. She turns to me, looks into my eyes, smiles and says “Fuck me…”

ZeN

It Started With A Dick Pic

Share Our ShitBefore I go any further, I should point out that I was coerced; honest m’lud…

I’ll get to the meat of this (as it were) in a bit, but first of all, I’ll back up a bit.

Under the guise of my hirsute alter ego, I had been tweeting and posting naughty stories since early 2011. I had, in fact, been posting stories online since about 2001, but it was during a period of illness in early 2011 that I discovered twitter, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Although I had a blog, of sorts, on which to post my stories, I wasn’t actually a blogger as such. I did the odd bit of writing as the mood and inspiration took me, and that was as far as it went.

My writing did, however, bring me into contact with other writers of erotica, and from there I discovered that there was a rich and vibrant online community of writers and bloggers with whom I identified with and was becoming increasingly a part of. I still wasn’t a blogger though.

Very much still a lurker, I began commenting on the blogs that I was reading. Those comments meant that other visitors to those blogs “discovered” my site and started visiting and commenting on my work. A certain momentum was inexorably building.

Enter (not in the biblical sense) two very, persuasive women, Cheryl Kaye and Charlie Powell (or @HornyGeekGirl or @sexblogofsorts to use their twitter names) and we get, eventually, to the point of this post.

Between them they waxed lyrical about the dearth of male sex bloggers and how much they wished for “more cock on #SinfulSunday“. Eventually I took the bait and, three years ago this weekend, I posted my very first #SinfulSunday submission.

I had actually guest posted on Cheryl’s blog a few weeks earlier and, thanks to the favourable reaction my photos were receiving, I would later re-post that article on my own blog as another of my #SinfulSunday entries.

So there you have it, the story of how this introverted occasional peddler of filth was unleashed on an unexpecting internet.

Cheryl/Charlie, if you are reading this, the credit/blame is all yours…

ZeN

The Ex Factor

Wicked WednesdayI will freely admit, without any reservation whatsoever that I have, in fact, had sex with every one of my exes.

Now, while this statement is absolutely 100% truthful, it doesn’t actually take into account the fact that, at the time I was having sex with them, I was actually still in a relationship with the woman in question, and so, at that particular point in time, she had yet to actually become an ex. OK, so I accept, that is a huge technicality, but it doesn’t negate the truth of my opening statement.

The fact is, however, that I have never had sex with someone after I have stopped being in a relationship with them so that they have become, in fact, an ex.

Generally, this has been for entirely logical reasons.  In the case of my very first “proper” girlfriend, we moved apart when we left school and went our separate ways to University and, ultimately, met other people.  This was in the late 1980’s so there were no mobile phones, social media, or email to keep in near constant contact with. If anyone thinks long-distance is hard nowadays, imagine it in the pre-internet dark ages.

Another couple of relationships at university were short term and simply fizzled out after the initial novelty wore off.

And then, of course, there is “THE EX“, i.e. my ex-wife.

In total, we were together for 16 years and married for 12 of those. I was her “first” although, she had done pretty much everything else apart from intercourse with her previous boyfriend. I was slightly more experienced than she was by virtue of the partners mentioned above, but not by very much and the overwhelming majority of what I know about my sexual tastes, desires, preferences, attitudes and appetites were learned during those 16 years that I spent with her.

Our split, when it happened, was particularly hard. I still carry the scars of it some 12 years later. Oddly, however, even as the relationship itself fell apart, the one thing that remained absolutely great right up until almost the very end was, surprise surprise, the sex. We had drifted apart as people, to the point where we were two separate individuals living under the same roof as opposed to the unit we had been as a couple. We were, in fact, by this stage, also both having sex outside what remained of our relationship. All in all it was pretty toxic and was damaging my health, but when we fucked, for that brief interlude, everything clicked back into place.

I suspect it was the long and easy familiarity we had for each other’s bodies and the things that turned us on. There was also a very definite element of anger and resentment towards each other in the way we fucked that, perversely, just made the fucking even better while, at the same time, hastened the relationship’s final ending.

I’ve had a couple of relationships since we split, and she married the guy she was fucking behind my back.  All things considered, we are on reasonably good terms, although we only actually speak to each other when we absolutely have to.

Knowing how good the sex between us was, could I ever go back?

Simple answer, no. In the infinitesimally unlikely event that the possibility ever arose, I really don’t think that would be a good idea for either of us.

ZeN

Intellectual Curiosity

#MasturbationMondayWhile this week’s prompt seemed to indicate that the topic under the magnifying glass (not literally, before any of us guys get an inferiority complex) was the penis, I’ve decided to go off on a bit of a tangent. I am male and, therefore, it kind of goes without saying that I have a penis. I have, in fact, written a number of posts on the subject of my penis. My penis and I have been life-long partners and have shared many wonderful experiences together.

So, as I said, I thought I’d go somewhere slightly different…

For the record, I have absolutely no desire to be a woman. PMT, periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, having to put up with us guys, inherent sexism in society; no, not for me. My genetic role of the dice came up XY and for that I am eternally grateful.

However, as someone who writes about sex, and writes (hopefully fairly realistic) descriptions of sex, I am curious as to what it would feel like from the female perspective.

Now, even as a man, there is nothing stopping me from, if I were so inclined, sucking another guy’s cock, or taking a cock in my arse but (and it’s a big but), I am not so inclined. There are some sacrifices I will not make for my art.

So, when trying to write about sex from a female perspective, I have attempted to glean what it feels like from my various partners over the years.

I know what it feels like to be inside a woman and, conversely, I can sort of imagine how it must feel in reverse, but I will never know.

So, if I could spend a day a woman, how would I spend that day?

Well, it stands to reason that I would spend a fair bit of time exploring and getting to know my new bits, for the purposes of research, obviously, you understand. Experiencing both orgasm, and the frustration of its denial as a woman would give me a fantastic insight for some of my D/s stories.

And then there’s sex…

Now, this is where it gets interesting. As I’ve already pointed out, as a straight male, I have absolutely no interest, sexually, in my own gender. This poses a bit of a problem. Were my personality to be transplanted, as is, into the body of a woman, with no other changes, then presumably my sexual preferences would remain as they are; i.e. attracted to women, no interest in men.  Surely then, this would make me a lesbian?

I don’t have a real problem with this. Given my passion for cunnilingus, I guess that would still be an option, and I would get to experience it from the woman’s perspective, so it’s all good.

However, given that I’ve already said, any such switch would be for the purposes of research, and so to fully achieve this, being a woman would also mean sex with a guy, otherwise what is the point of the experiment? Could I do it? Would I be able to enjoy it is I did? How would the experience affect me when I reverted back to my own body?

Of course,  another way of looking at it would be that since I am heterosexual, the female “me” would be as well, and I would be able to fully experience and (hopefully) enjoy the feelings and sensations of what it is to be a woman being taken by a man; to experience as a “receiver” all the things I do with my partner in my natural state as the “giver”

In an ideal world, the female “me would like both men and women, but I suspect I’m possibly being greedy.

Now, if you have read any of my stories, it may be that you think that my descriptions of sex and the feelings experienced by both partners are fairly accurate, albeit that everyone’s senses and sensations are unique to them. That being the case, the exercise become somewhat academic because, ultimately, the only person whose experiences and feelings I can truly accurately describe are my own.

On the whole, I think I’ll just stick to using my imagination. It seems to work well enough. I can’t deny, however, that I do have a certain intellectual curiosity. As I mentioned at the start however, I am very happy being a man and, in particular, this man.

ZeN

Statistically speaking

Share Our ShitI mentioned last week that 2017 has been an interesting year. For those of you who are interested in facts and figures, this post may just be for you. If, however, you are in any way “normal”, I suggest you want to skip over the blatant self promotion in the first half of this post and visit one of the blogs listed further down the page for something much more interesting.

My Blogs

So, for those of you who don’t already know (and even those of you who do), I actually have three, yes, that’s right, three blogs.

  • There is this humble journal where I whitter on about whatever flits across my mind and I deem it to be sufficiently of interest to jot it down.
  • Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album – where I share my photos.
  • A Kilted Wookie Writes – I share my erotic fiction and poetry.

Across the three, I received a total of 10,636 views. Given that I haven’t written any fiction/poetry since 2016, it’s not surprising that the majority of those views were for this site and my photos. That my writing site still pulled in 2,600 viewers without me contributing to it at all is still quite an achievement.

For each of the three blogs, the 10 most viewed posts were:

The Zen Nudist

  1. In Praise Of Pussy
  2. The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job
  3. Oral Sex – The Be And End All?
  4. No Worries
  5. Taking Myself In Hand
  6. A Confession
  7. Dominance Through Cunnilingus
  8. Fine Dining
  9. Split Personalities
  10. In The Mind
Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album

  1. Looking Up
  2. Up And Under
  3. What’s Cooking?
  4. Left, Right & Centre
  5. Dappled
  6. Business (Un)dress
  7. Blue Splash
  8. At Ease
  9. Hotel Corridors
  10. Dick(ie) Bow
A Kilted Wookie Writes

  1. Oral Foreplay
  2. Dee’s Double Delight
  3. The Making Of An Adulteress
  4. Seònaid’s Big Night In
  5. Under The Covers
  6. Blindfolded And Taken
  7. Hotel Get Together
  8. Sexual Symphony
  9. Ready And Rough
  10. The Train Home

My Visitors

Despite being Scottish and living in Scotland (that’s the top third bit of the United Kingdom for those who don’t know), the majority of my visitors came from the USA. The top ten countries by visitor number were:

  1. United States
  2. Great Britain
  3. Canada
  4. Ireland
  5. Australia
  6. New Zealand
  7. Netherlands
  8. Germany
  9. Spain
  10. Sweden

Given that I blog entirely in English, it’s no great surprise that the majority of my visitors come from the English speaking world, but for those of you for whom English is not your first language, I am deeply humbled that you choose to drop by.

Referrals 

It’s not at all surprising that a lot of people come to me via the blogging memes I participate in; so, as always, a huge “Thank You!” to Kayla, Marie and Molly for organising these. The top 10 referring sites were:

  1. Twitter
  2. #SinfulSunday
  3. WordPress Reader
  4. #MasturbationMonday
  5. #WickedWednesday
  6. Adult Blog Hub
  7. Search Engines (Google, Yahoo, Bing)
  8. #KinkOfTheWeek
  9. Tumblr
  10. e[lust]

Where do people go?

Of course it’s not all one-way traffic. The people who visit my blog, click through to other blogs; either via the links in my blogroll, the blogs I link to in my posts or the comments other bloggers leave on my posts. the Top 10 bloggers that I sent traffic to in 2017 were:

  1. Tabitha Rayne by (@TabithaErotica)
  2. Nerdy Dirty Girl by (@SuburbanSex)
  3. Confess Hannah by (@confess_Hannah)
  4. Fire & Honey by (@fireandhoney)
  5. Girl on the Net by (@girlonthenet)
  6. Nooky Ever After by (@nookysemper)
  7. Cleareyed Girl by (@_Masterseye)
  8. Jerusalem Mortimer by (@JaimeMortimer)
  9. A to sub-Bee by (@sub_bee)
  10. Aurora Glory by (@AuroraGloryBlog)

So there you have it; everything you probably never actually wanted to know about my blog and the people who visit it.

ZeN

Bottoms up! (Or making an arse of things)

In my experience, the women I have been with have fallen into two camps: those that took it up the arse, and those that didn’t. Those that did enjoyed it and those that didn’t were quite adamant that it wasn’t going to happen. In only one instance has it transpired that I stumbled upon an “uncertain” and that was simply because she had never tried it before. Once she had tried it, she was firmly in the “Yes” camp thereafter; so I can only assume I did something right.

Of the women I have done it with, there has been no general consensus as to how they preferred it done. Some liked it rough and hard, some preferred me to take it slowly and (as much as it can be) gently. All expressed a notion for it being somehow taboo, or illicit in a way that vaginal or anal sex were not. It was somehow darker, dirtier (if you’ll excuse the obvious double meaning) and that made it somehow more exciting.

Personally, when push comes to shove, it’s something I can take or leave. For me it has always been a case of “lady’s choice”. When the woman I’ve been with has wanted it, I’ve done it and enjoyed it. Similarly, when the woman hasn’t wanted it, I haven’t missed it. Also, in terms of what I do, I have only ever been a “giver”, “receiving” isn’t my thing.

What it comes down to, for me, is that it is simply one more weapon in my arsenal, one more string in my bow.  There are plenty of other activities that couples can enjoy that the presence or absence of this particular one makes little difference.  I don’t enjoy sex more when I get to fuck her arse, I don’t enjoy it less when I don’t.

Wicked WednesdayAs with everything, communication and respect is key. If the woman says its a “no”, then it’s a “no”; stop there, don’t try to coerce her into something she doesn’t want to do. In the case of my “uncertain”, it was something she was curious about but it was something where, ultimately, I let her set the pace; I didn’t force it, but from expressing an interest, we experimented and built up from fingering until she was ready for me to fuck her.  All the time the understanding was that if she didn’t like it or wanted me to stop at any point, I would.

As it happened, I stopped quite a few times. She wanted to persevere and after a few false starts along the way, we finally got there.  As I mentioned above, it turned out it was something she enjoyed and it is something we did fairly regularly after that.  Had I tried to force my way in on that first attempt, there is every chance I might have put her off it and, more importantly from my fragile male ego’s perspective, me.

All this is, I guess, is a rather rambling and long-winded way of saying that for me, its presence or absence is not a deal-breaker. I’ve always believed and strongly maintain that, first and foremost, sex should be enjoyable for the participants. If something you do enhances that, great; if it doesn’t, then concentrate on the things that do.

Ultimately though, if someone offers you their arse, don’t be one.

ZeN

Word for Wednesday – Reflection

Reflection

/rɪˈflɛkʃən/
noun
  1. the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected
  2. careful or long consideration or thought

Reflection is almost inevitable at this time of year. We look back at the things that have happened and how they have affected us. We look forward to the coming year and what might be for both good and bad.

The start of the year, although completely arbitrary, is almost by default, a time of reflection.

In my last post of 2017, I looked back at the highs I had in terms of my return to blogging. In this, my first post of 2018, my thoughts turn, as they often do, to the topic of mental health.

Helpful Numbers #MentalHealthLike many people, I find the festive period particularly difficult. I won’t bore you with my specific reasons, but suffice to say that by the time the end of the holiday period finally rolls around, I am more than happy to see the back of it. It is the one holiday that simply through the sheer effort of enduring it, leaves me more worn out and exhausted, mentally, physically and spiritually at its end than I was at its beginning.

I mentioned before, that I do not suffer from Seasonally Affected Disorder, but perhaps it would be more accurate to say that there is a very specific “season” that I find particularly hard to bear.

Every year, somewhere between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, I make a conscious decision whether or not I carry on. In doing so, I make a positive affirmation that, having made it through the year just gone by, I will give it my best endeavours to make it to the end of the year that is to come. It isn’t a promise; it is simply a statement of what I intend to achieve. If I manage to achieve anything else between now and the end of 2018 then that is a bonus. The only resolution I ever set myself is that I try not to spend every day of the forthcoming year regretting the decision I have made.

This has not been a very positive post; mainly because I am not in a very positive place. For me it is the time of my darkest reflections.

ZeN

My blogging year

Share Our Shit2017 has been an interesting year. Having been on hiatus for most of 2016, if you’d said to me back in January that I would be blogging again, I’d have probably laughed at you (albeit, given my mood at the time, laughing wasn’t something that came particularly naturally nor easily, but I digress…). When the year started I was content to lurk, dipping in and out of other people’s blogs occasionally, and keeping in vague contact with some of my fellow bloggers via twitter and/or whatsapp.

January moved on into February, as it always does, and this, of course, means that the lovely Molly unleashes February Photo Fest on the world. I’m not entirely sure why, but in the guise of my furry alter ego, I decided to contribute, and the rest, as the say, was history.

Of course, the fact that I was posting photographs meant, almost be default, that I returned to the #SinfulSunday family.

I’ve always been a big fan of #SinfulSunday because of its inclusive and positive group of contributors; always supportive, never judgemental, and the quality of the submissions is simply stunning. So much so, that I am always stunned when one of my efforts makes it into the weekly top 5. This year, that happened on 5 occasions:

Huge thanks to the above bloggers for choosing my photos when there are always so many fantastic images to pic every week.

The following photos were also featured by other bloggers:

Posting photos meant I was also, once again, able to participate in the Scavenger Hunt  hosted by Jade.

While I was posting photos, I still wasn’t “blogging” per se. I wasn’t doing any writing, nor did I have very much to say on the subject of kink/sex.

When I did start blogging again, the half-formed intention was that it would be more of a personal journal, rather than an actual sex blog. I needed a slightly different voice for a different side of my personality. For that, and a host of other reasons that I explained earlier, The Zen Nudist was born.

Unlike my previous blog which got deleted in 2016, this blog would, it was intended, be somewhere where I would post whatever I had on my mind rather than concentrate specifically on kink/sex. To that end, it has more or less lived up to its intended purpose, but almost inevitably, the two areas I tend to blog about most are mental health/depression and sex. Sometimes, I even manage to combine them both in the same post.

Writing about sex, of course, brought me back to some more of the wonderful memes that members of this community curate, namely:

Once again, despite there being many excellent contributions, some of my posts have been included in the weekly round-ups:

In addition to the above, a big “thank you” goes to May More for including me in her #SoSS postings and another to Jaime Mortimer for including me in a top 5 sharing of blogging love for #WickedWednesday.

Having met Big Miss Naughty/Scot Bad Girl, Ms Handful, Honey, Exposing 40 and The Other Livvy previously, 2017 was the year where I also managed to meet Exhibit A and Lapsed Catholic.

Sadly, of course, much as I did in 2016, some of the above have chosen to either stop blogging or remove their blogs entirely during 2017. If they are reading this, then they should know that they are missed.

So, that was 2017. Let’s see where the journey takes us in 2018…

ZeN