Out Of Kilter

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayGenerally I’ve been quite lucky in this respect. In the relationships I have had, my sexual tastes, appetites and desires have, broadly speaking, been evenly matched by my partners. That’s not to say they have always been in perfect synchronicity; there are always times one one or other of us was ill, or too tired, too stressed, too angry, or on certain occasions, just couldn’t be arsed. These things happen and it’s just part of being human and sharing a relationship with another human being. Yes, they can be frustrating, but they aren’t the end of the world.

For me, however, the thing that is most likely to throw me off my stride is depression. When my mood is low, sex is the last thing on my mind. It’s not easy to have much in the way of sexual desire when you have very little desire for living itself.

Mind MattersI’ve written before about the effects that depression can have on my libido. Arousal itself is sometimes hard to come by, and orgasm can be a hit or miss affair.

In a perverse way though, suppressed libido is a blessing in disguise. When I’m at my lowest, I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel desirable; a lot of the time I simply just don’t feel anything apart from an overwhelming numbness. In such occasions lack of desire saves me from a frustration that would probably make me feel even worse.

This isn’t my most coherent post, I’ll admit. I suspect it hasn’t given anyone any deep insights into my personality, and I suspect it won’t tell you anything you don’t already know if you’ve followed me for any length of time.

The fact is, that with depression, often it is my whole life that is out of kilter. In such circumstances, the surprise is possibly that I feel any element of sexual desire at all.

ZeN

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The Taste Of Things To Come

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFridayI’ve written before about how much I love cunnilingus and how it taps into my sensualism. I have also mentioned how much I enjoy getting my cock sucked. The truth is, I enjoy sex and all aspects of sexual activity.

Oral sex has many aspects. It can be used as a form of foreplay; each partner taking it in turns (or sometimes simultaneously) to drive the other wild with their lips and tongues. It can also be a fully satisfying act in its own right; being brought, or taking your partner to a climax.

The thing about it is, whichever of the above scenarios is being played out, the pace is being set by the giver. If you are the one performing it on your partner, you are the one that is in control.

The Oral Sex ProjectAs the giver, I love to be able to take my time, to luxuriate, to feast; prolonging my partner’s pleasure for as long as possible. I can set the pace, I can, to an extent, control the duration. I can enjoy my partner’s pleasure fully, without having to concern myself with my own. I definitely don’t have to worry about my own climax occasionally taking us both by surprise and bringing things to an abrupt halt.

As I’ve said before, I love the sensual experience of going down on my partner; the scents, the sounds and especially the taste.

As a receiver, I love the fact that my pleasure is in my partners hands (well, mouth, if we’re being pedantic about it). I love the fact, again, that it’s not something I need to concern myself with; she is setting the pace. She can suck and lick and kiss as hard or as gently, as fast or as slowly as she likes. My pleasure is down to her.

Which do I prefer. Well, when I’m face down between her legs, tasting the rich sweetness of her cunt, I definitely prefer being the giver. When I’m sitting/lying there with my cock in her mouth as she teases me with her lips and tongue, I definitely prefer being the receiver.

The honest answer is, I prefer whichever I am doing or having done to me.

ZeN