Word for Wednesday – Sensualism

Sensualism

/ˈsɛnsjʊəˌlɪzəm/
noun

  1. the quality or state of being sensual

When it comes to sex, I am all about the senses; the sounds, the feelings, the scents, the scenes and the tastes. Great sex combines each of these; taking those essential building blocks and building them into a whole that is so much more than their sum.

Humans are a visual species, and it is fair to say that what we see is what initially attracts us to another person. We each have our own measure of the qualities that we find visually appealing in a potential partner.

Vision, however goes much deeper than that. They is the voyeuristic pleasure of watching your partner arouse and pleasure themselves. There is the joy that comes from watching their response to your attentions; the involuntary twitches and shakes, the changes of expression, the sinuous arching of their backs as the pleasure builds within them.

Wicked Wednesday
I am, by my own admission, an extremely tactile person. I love touch and I loved to be touched. I love the feel of a partner’s skin, soft and warm, against mine. I love the feel of their body under my fingertips and under my lips. I love the feel of theirs on mine; the warmth of her mouth as it encircles my cock and the soft heat of her cunt as I move inside her.

And then their is taste. The taste of her skin as I explore with lips. The intense flavour of her cunt as I feast on her. The subtle changes in flavour as her arousal grows, the sharp sweetness of her climax on my tongue.

Sound also plays its part, intensifying and amplifying every action. Her moans as I lick her, that sigh as I thrust slowly into her, filling her for the first time. There’s the sounds of skin on skin as our bodies move together. Sometimes the sound of leather on skin as my belt kisses her flesh. The sound of the bed beneath us adding to every movement, every squirm, every thrust.

Sex is so much more than just a physical pleasure. It engages all of the senses to become an emotional canvas on which we paint our desires.

That is the essence of sensualism; the surrendering to the full spectrum of experience.

ZeN

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The Trouble With “Lady Parts”

Wicked WednesdayI have a problem with “lady parts”.  Not the actual parts themselves, of which I am particularly fond; more the fact that you lot have so bloody many of them.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I love each and every one of them. I love they way you react when I touch, kiss, lick and fuck them. It’s just that, as a “writer“, trying to describe them is a nightmare.

We guys are pretty simple. On our chests, we have nipples; that’s pretty much it. You lot though… I mean yes, you have nipples and they respond in various wonderfully delightful ways, but you also have boobs.  Now I’m certainly not knocking your knockers; anyone who knows me knows how much I love them, but when it comes to writing they are another bit (or is that bits?) that have to be considered. Part of the biggest problem is what to actually call them? Boobs, tits, breasts, norks, knockers, funbags (OK, so I have never, ever used the term funbags in erotica); you get my drift… And if that weren’t bad enough, don’t even get me started on your areolae. I mean, why do you even have them?  What’s wrong with just having nipples? Isn’t it enough that you already have two erogenous areas on either side of your chest without adding a third? Isn’t that just being greedy?

Anyway, moving briskly on, or down, as is more appropriate. And let’s face it, we do like to go down…

Again, the male sexual anatomy is pretty basic. We have cocks and we have balls. Occasionally you may feel the need to differentiate between the shaft and the head of our cocks; sometimes you may want to draw attention to the scrotum rather than what it contains. By and large however, that’s it: cock, balls, and occasionally sac.

With you ladies on the other hand, it’s a whole different ball-game (or should that be labia-game, or maybe clit-game?).

Now, despite what certain women’s magazines would have us believe, I suspect most of us guys are at least passingly acquainted with your clitoris (some more so than others, I will admit). We know you have a vagina. We are familiar with your labia (both majora and minora). The vulva leaves us a little confused. Is it a specific part in its own right, or is it a term for the whole general area? Yes, yes, I know what it actually is, but I’m just emphasising the point. To be honest, in much the same way that, in my writing, I tend to neglect areolae (although I would never neglect them in the flesh, I hasten to add), I tend to gloss over vulvae too (that’s really not as filthy as it sounds, believe me).

Euphemisms don’t actually help; although they do provide a certain concealment of ignorance. I can throw in the word “cunt” or “pussy” but, depending on the context, that in itself can mean different things. If I put my cock in your cunt, then I’m clearly talking about your vagina. If I’m admiring your neatly trimmed pussy, I’m talking about your pubis (I’d almost forgotten about that one), or possibly your vulva, or maybe both.

And you wonder why us guys find you so confusing sometimes… It’s almost as if we are strangers in a strange land.

Personally, I think I’ll just stick to enjoying them for the effects my attentions cause and not get hung up on the Latin.

ZeN

A Strange Nostalgia

#MasturbationMondayIt is often stated that porn, it seems, has decided that women should be hairless from the eyelids down. Now, whether or not porn is actually responsible (I have my doubts as people are capable of determining their own preferences, without having them rubbed in their faces, as it were) it is a look that many women chose, for whatever reason, subscribe to. Now, on the subject of rubbing my face in it,  as a man who has spend a lot of time with my head between women’s thighs, I will admit that there is something particularly appealing about going down on a lovely, smooth cunt; being able to explore every nook, every fold with my tongue as I take her (hopefully) on a journey to orgasm. I also know a few women who, having embraced the bare look, say that it increases the sensations for them, the friction on their clit is so much more intense because there is no barrier.

Now all of this is fine and good, and I would never tell anyone how they should, or indeed shouldn’t style their intimate areas but, damn it, I actually am very fond of pubic hair on a woman.

There! I’ve said it! I’m out and proud! I am a pube fan! I enjoy getting my nose tickled when I go gown on a woman.

Now that’s not to say I don’t have preferences; I do. My preference is for tidy, trimmed, short but not too short. If the lips are smooth, that’s an added bonus. But at the end of the day, I’ll take what’s presented to me. In a sexual career going back over quarter of a century, I’ve met all kinds of women with all kinds of styling; from wild and natural, to as bald and smooth as a cue-ball and, you know what? I’’e loved everyone of them.

But for me, pubic hair will always elicit fond memories.

As a randy teenager in the late 1980s, and an even randier young man in the early 1990s (OK, we’re talking mostly about my student days here), I used to experience a small feeling of triumph when, during the course of a heavy petting session, my fingers eventually worked their way down her body and sought out and found those soft curls; that triangle of hair that was pointing my fingers towards their goal. I used to (and still do if circumstances allow) run my fingers through that patch of hair, feeling it get progressively damper as I got closer and closer to her opening. When I went down on a girl, I loved the way those soft tufts tickled my nose. Yes, yes, there were those odd awkward moments when a stray hair lodged itself somewhere it shouldn’t, but that was just one of those things you shrugged off.

The first time I encountered a girl who had removed her pubic hair was a bit of a surprise. As I slid my fingers into her knickers, I was waiting for that customary contact; that furry reassurance that I was going in the right direction. Making contact with her clit, without first encountering anything to play with was, I’ll admit, a bit of a shock. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to mind that I’d gone straight there, and once I got over my sense of having missed out on something, I went on to enjoy myself with her, and her with me.

Since then, it seems the prevalence of smoothness continues to increase unabated, and the pubic bush seems to be heading towards extinction. Should this ever happen, I for one will certainly mourn it’s passing, if only for the memories of my younger days.

Oh, and for the record I keep my own short above, and smooth below. Well, you girls are no more fond of nature’s dental floss than we guys are…

ZeN

States Of Undress

This is kind of a follow-on from my post “To Cock, Or Not To Cock“.

As you can probably tell by the posts on my alter ego’s “Photo Album”  blog, I have a fairly relaxed attitude to being naked. I sleep naked. I happily wander around the house without any clothes on. When the weather permits, I will lie naked in my garden. When I’m on holiday, if local custom permits, I will happily lie naked when sunbathing. For me, there is nothing sexual in these situations, I am simply in a state of being undressed.

Western society, and by which I typically mean US/UK society has some very restrictive views on the naked body. Other societies, such as Germany or Scandinavia, are much more relaxed about such things (although I will admit that sometimes, even I find the Germans a little too relaxed about it).

In the US, and to a slightly lesser extent, here in the UK, nudity is pretty much synonymous with sex and is, at best, frowned upon. Although being naked in public is not an offence in the UK, per se, you can be charged with public indecency or breach of the peace.

Here, as in so many other aspects of our society, a sexual double standard exists. It is perfectly OK for me, as a man, to wander around naked above the waist. If a woman were to do the same thing, she runs the risk of falling foul of one of the above offences.

Why is this? Why is a woman’s chest deemed more sexual than that of a man. Why is a woman’s chest deemed more likely to cause public outrage and be an affront to public decency? Yes, I know we guys (and a lot of you girls) happen to find breasts sexy but, when all is said and done, they are still just the front part of her upper torso.  And let’s be honest here for a second fellas; more often than not, the female chest is a lot more attractive than ours, and, dare I say it, a loss less offensive to the eye than what some of us inflict on an unsuspecting world the moment the mercury rises into double figures.

Now, I’m not suggesting we should dispense with clothes and all become nudists. I’m Scottish and it’s far too bloody cold for that. Turning up naked at your Aunt Mabel’s funeral, or popping down to Tesco to do your weekly shop in your birthday suit are not really examples of acceptable behaviour.

I am, however, suggesting that we have over sexualised that most essential of organs; our skin.

Yes, nudity can be sexual and highly arousing. I won’t deny that when I’m ripping a partner’s clothes off, and she’s doing the same to me, with the sole purpose of getting each other naked and getting it on, it is highly sexual. Let’s be honest, we wouldn’t want it any other way.  That discovering (or reacquainting ourselves with) the body that lies beneath the outer clothing, the body that is hidden away from public display, the body that we desire and want to do sex things to, is all part of the sexual experience.

At other times, when I’m slobbed out on the sofa and haven’t actually managed to get around to putting clothes on, it is anything but sexual, or indeed sexy, it is simply me in my natural state of undress.

Being undressed does not equate to sex. There are worlds of difference between sexual and non-sexual nudity. Maybe, just maybe, with their naked zones, perhaps the Germans have got it right after all.

ZeN

To Cock, Or Not To Cock

Penis ProjectFor some reason, known only to the random patterns of electrons and collections of ones and zeros that make up the internet, the search term that most frequently directs people to my blogs is “Cock Pics”. Almost every month, without fail, if it isn’t the top search term, it is in the top two or three. This got me thinking, do I really display my penis that often?

To date, I have posted 125 photos on over my photo blog. Of these, my penis has been fully visible in 30 of them. So, 24%, or  as near as damn it a quarter of them. That’s a reasonably significant fraction of my photos that feature my significant fraction. Having said that, my arse features in 36 photos.

Of those 30 photos in which my penis makes an appearance, in the vast majority of cases, it has at best a cameo, or supporting role. Only in four posts could it be said to have the star billing, namely:

Now, granted, in “Penile Bombardment” you get four views for the price of one, but it was kind of incidental to the point I was making. “Dick(ie) Bow;” and “Christmas Is A Cumming…” are clearly intended to be at least mildly humourous. That basically leaves ““A” Is For Awakening” as the sole gratuitous “Cock Pic”.

Being a male blogger, and in particular, being a male blogger who posts naked photos of myself, it requires some thought as to which area of my body to focus on. Some readers like my hands, some my arms, others my shoulders. Some like my back, some like my chest, some like my arse, and some do actually like my penis.

By and large, however, with the exception of those four posts mentioned above, while my penis may be visible, it is not the focus of my photo. Depending on the viewer, the eye may be drawn towards it, but its presence is simply a side effect of me being both male and naked.

Do I feel any compulsion to show it off? No, not really; it’s just there, a part of me, just like any other part of me. If it makes an appearance in a photo (the aforementioned posts excepted), it is simply because it happens to be in shot, or in some way necessary to make a particular photo work.

I’m not saying my photos aren’t sexual; some people may find them extremely so. It’s simply that, by having a very relaxed attitude to nakedness, I have a different perspective.

ZeN

Baring All

It will probably be no surprise to anyone reading this, especially if you are a regular viewer of my #SinfulSunday posts, that I am quite comfortable being in a state of undress.

I have written before on the subject of self-image, and I am, I guess, quite fortunate. I have always been pretty comfortable in my own skin and always been fairly relaxed about letting it all hang out. That’s not to say that I like all bits of my body equally. There are bits that I am not particularly fond of; my lopsided ears for example and my double chins.  The latter I can partially excuse on my hypothyroidism, the ears, however, I was born with.  There are other bits that I think are actually pretty good. Thirty odd years of running up and down rugby pitches has meant my legs (especially thighs and calves) are in pretty good shape, and the upper body strength required for the game means that my shoulders and chest are pretty well developed (although this causes issues finding shirts/jumpers/etc. that fit me in the sleeve).

There are other bits that I’m fairly ambivalent about. My mid section is a bit Meh!  I’ve let it go to seed a bit.  I can still hold it in easily enough to take a good photo, but in its natural state, it’s much more relaxed. My penis? Well, I’m male, I have one. I’m not going to reiterate my views on the aesthetic qualities (or lack thereof) of the male sexual organ; suffice to say that it does what it’s meant to do, and the women who have encountered it in the flesh have all seemed satisfied with it, so that’s all that I really need.

As I said, being naked is generally something I’m relaxed about.  I can happily wander round the house undressed. I’m not bothered, really, if someone sees me through a not quite closed blind.  I can happily go naked on a beach if local custom allows.  This latter bit is not out of any real sense of exhibitionism, just a preference because I find it so much more comfortable.

Getting naked for someone is a wee bit more challenging.  There is always a bit of apprehension and, indeed, vulnerability, about letting someone see you naked for the first time. Fortunately I’ve always been able to rationalise this away by the fact that I expect the other person is feeling similar things and I am concentrating on their body; appreciating it and enjoying it so that I’m not thinking about mine.

I’m not saying that, in those moments I’m not wishing that maybe my stomach was flatter or that, perhaps, my cock was a little bit bigger (it’s a bloke thing, OK; I’m completely happy with it, but I’d be completely happy with the next size up too…); but the woman I am with is also sharing her vulnerability with me, she is baring and revealing herself; and that, for me, is a wonderful thing to experience and share.

So, yeah, I’m comfortable with my body, I have no shame in being naked and am (generally) relaxed in that state. Granted, in certain naked situations, a part of me is most definitely not relaxed, but that’s the topic, perhaps, for another post.

ZeN

Wicked Wednesday: Nature

Wicked WednesdayI am a big fan of the outdoors. I like being “at one” with nature. Given the allusions to nudism in my chosen pen-name, I like to spend time outdoors, naked. Sadly, living in Scotland, the weather doesn’t often lend itself to that very often, but when it does, I do try to make the most of the situation.

It’s not just about sex. As I alluded to in my recent TMI Tuesday post, there can be some extra excitement involved in having sex outdoors, the thrill of possibly being caught in the act can, and does, add a certain something sometimes. I won’t deny, there is something particularly nice about lying in the warmth of the summer sun, in post-coital languor, but that is just an occasional added bonus.

The vast majority of my outdoor nudity has not involved sex, nor has it been sexual in any way.

For me, like the majority of those who practice naturism, being naked is not about sex, it is not about getting thrills, it is about enjoying the “natural” state of being undressed. Whether it be lying on a beach, soaking up the sun, or sitting in the garden, or just enjoying some remote, out of the way spot in the countryside, it is about the feeling of freedom.

Personally, what draws me to “nudist” beaches is the fact that, even allowing for the fact that the sand can, and does get everywhere, I just find it so much more comfortable. No material clinging stickily to bits of you, not having to endure wet swimwear drying on you after you’ve been for a swim, just makes the experience (for me at least) that much more relaxed and comfortable.

Having said that, I am a country boy and I enjoy being outside and “in nature” in pretty much any circumstances; even with all my clothes on.

ZeN