It Started With A Dick Pic

Share Our ShitBefore I go any further, I should point out that I was coerced; honest m’lud…

I’ll get to the meat of this (as it were) in a bit, but first of all, I’ll back up a bit.

Under the guise of my hirsute alter ego, I had been tweeting and posting naughty stories since early 2011. I had, in fact, been posting stories online since about 2001, but it was during a period of illness in early 2011 that I discovered twitter, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Although I had a blog, of sorts, on which to post my stories, I wasn’t actually a blogger as such. I did the odd bit of writing as the mood and inspiration took me, and that was as far as it went.

My writing did, however, bring me into contact with other writers of erotica, and from there I discovered that there was a rich and vibrant online community of writers and bloggers with whom I identified with and was becoming increasingly a part of. I still wasn’t a blogger though.

Very much still a lurker, I began commenting on the blogs that I was reading. Those comments meant that other visitors to those blogs “discovered” my site and started visiting and commenting on my work. A certain momentum was inexorably building.

Enter (not in the biblical sense) two very, persuasive women, Cheryl Kaye and Charlie Powell (or @HornyGeekGirl or @sexblogofsorts to use their twitter names) and we get, eventually, to the point of this post.

Between them they waxed lyrical about the dearth of male sex bloggers and how much they wished for “more cock on #SinfulSunday“. Eventually I took the bait and, three years ago this weekend, I posted my very first #SinfulSunday submission.

I had actually guest posted on Cheryl’s blog a few weeks earlier and, thanks to the favourable reaction my photos were receiving, I would later re-post that article on my own blog as another of my #SinfulSunday entries.

So there you have it, the story of how this introverted occasional peddler of filth was unleashed on an unexpecting internet.

Cheryl/Charlie, if you are reading this, the credit/blame is all yours…

ZeN

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Statistically speaking

Share Our ShitI mentioned last week that 2017 has been an interesting year. For those of you who are interested in facts and figures, this post may just be for you. If, however, you are in any way “normal”, I suggest you want to skip over the blatant self promotion in the first half of this post and visit one of the blogs listed further down the page for something much more interesting.

My Blogs

So, for those of you who don’t already know (and even those of you who do), I actually have three, yes, that’s right, three blogs.

  • There is this humble journal where I whitter on about whatever flits across my mind and I deem it to be sufficiently of interest to jot it down.
  • Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album – where I share my photos.
  • A Kilted Wookie Writes – I share my erotic fiction and poetry.

Across the three, I received a total of 10,636 views. Given that I haven’t written any fiction/poetry since 2016, it’s not surprising that the majority of those views were for this site and my photos. That my writing site still pulled in 2,600 viewers without me contributing to it at all is still quite an achievement.

For each of the three blogs, the 10 most viewed posts were:

The Zen Nudist

  1. In Praise Of Pussy
  2. The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job
  3. Oral Sex – The Be And End All?
  4. No Worries
  5. Taking Myself In Hand
  6. A Confession
  7. Dominance Through Cunnilingus
  8. Fine Dining
  9. Split Personalities
  10. In The Mind
Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album

  1. Looking Up
  2. Up And Under
  3. What’s Cooking?
  4. Left, Right & Centre
  5. Dappled
  6. Business (Un)dress
  7. Blue Splash
  8. At Ease
  9. Hotel Corridors
  10. Dick(ie) Bow
A Kilted Wookie Writes

  1. Oral Foreplay
  2. Dee’s Double Delight
  3. The Making Of An Adulteress
  4. Seònaid’s Big Night In
  5. Under The Covers
  6. Blindfolded And Taken
  7. Hotel Get Together
  8. Sexual Symphony
  9. Ready And Rough
  10. The Train Home

My Visitors

Despite being Scottish and living in Scotland (that’s the top third bit of the United Kingdom for those who don’t know), the majority of my visitors came from the USA. The top ten countries by visitor number were:

  1. United States
  2. Great Britain
  3. Canada
  4. Ireland
  5. Australia
  6. New Zealand
  7. Netherlands
  8. Germany
  9. Spain
  10. Sweden

Given that I blog entirely in English, it’s no great surprise that the majority of my visitors come from the English speaking world, but for those of you for whom English is not your first language, I am deeply humbled that you choose to drop by.

Referrals 

It’s not at all surprising that a lot of people come to me via the blogging memes I participate in; so, as always, a huge “Thank You!” to Kayla, Marie and Molly for organising these. The top 10 referring sites were:

  1. Twitter
  2. #SinfulSunday
  3. WordPress Reader
  4. #MasturbationMonday
  5. #WickedWednesday
  6. Adult Blog Hub
  7. Search Engines (Google, Yahoo, Bing)
  8. #KinkOfTheWeek
  9. Tumblr
  10. e[lust]

Where do people go?

Of course it’s not all one-way traffic. The people who visit my blog, click through to other blogs; either via the links in my blogroll, the blogs I link to in my posts or the comments other bloggers leave on my posts. the Top 10 bloggers that I sent traffic to in 2017 were:

  1. Tabitha Rayne by (@TabithaErotica)
  2. Nerdy Dirty Girl by (@SuburbanSex)
  3. Confess Hannah by (@confess_Hannah)
  4. Fire & Honey by (@fireandhoney)
  5. Girl on the Net by (@girlonthenet)
  6. Nooky Ever After by (@nookysemper)
  7. Cleareyed Girl by (@_Masterseye)
  8. Jerusalem Mortimer by (@JaimeMortimer)
  9. A to sub-Bee by (@sub_bee)
  10. Aurora Glory by (@AuroraGloryBlog)

So there you have it; everything you probably never actually wanted to know about my blog and the people who visit it.

ZeN

My blogging year

Share Our Shit2017 has been an interesting year. Having been on hiatus for most of 2016, if you’d said to me back in January that I would be blogging again, I’d have probably laughed at you (albeit, given my mood at the time, laughing wasn’t something that came particularly naturally nor easily, but I digress…). When the year started I was content to lurk, dipping in and out of other people’s blogs occasionally, and keeping in vague contact with some of my fellow bloggers via twitter and/or whatsapp.

January moved on into February, as it always does, and this, of course, means that the lovely Molly unleashes February Photo Fest on the world. I’m not entirely sure why, but in the guise of my furry alter ego, I decided to contribute, and the rest, as the say, was history.

Of course, the fact that I was posting photographs meant, almost be default, that I returned to the #SinfulSunday family.

I’ve always been a big fan of #SinfulSunday because of its inclusive and positive group of contributors; always supportive, never judgemental, and the quality of the submissions is simply stunning. So much so, that I am always stunned when one of my efforts makes it into the weekly top 5. This year, that happened on 5 occasions:

Huge thanks to the above bloggers for choosing my photos when there are always so many fantastic images to pic every week.

The following photos were also featured by other bloggers:

Posting photos meant I was also, once again, able to participate in the Scavenger Hunt  hosted by Jade.

While I was posting photos, I still wasn’t “blogging” per se. I wasn’t doing any writing, nor did I have very much to say on the subject of kink/sex.

When I did start blogging again, the half-formed intention was that it would be more of a personal journal, rather than an actual sex blog. I needed a slightly different voice for a different side of my personality. For that, and a host of other reasons that I explained earlier, The Zen Nudist was born.

Unlike my previous blog which got deleted in 2016, this blog would, it was intended, be somewhere where I would post whatever I had on my mind rather than concentrate specifically on kink/sex. To that end, it has more or less lived up to its intended purpose, but almost inevitably, the two areas I tend to blog about most are mental health/depression and sex. Sometimes, I even manage to combine them both in the same post.

Writing about sex, of course, brought me back to some more of the wonderful memes that members of this community curate, namely:

Once again, despite there being many excellent contributions, some of my posts have been included in the weekly round-ups:

In addition to the above, a big “thank you” goes to May More for including me in her #SoSS postings and another to Jaime Mortimer for including me in a top 5 sharing of blogging love for #WickedWednesday.

Having met Big Miss Naughty/Scot Bad Girl, Ms Handful, Honey, Exposing 40 and The Other Livvy previously, 2017 was the year where I also managed to meet Exhibit A and Lapsed Catholic.

Sadly, of course, much as I did in 2016, some of the above have chosen to either stop blogging or remove their blogs entirely during 2017. If they are reading this, then they should know that they are missed.

So, that was 2017. Let’s see where the journey takes us in 2018…

ZeN

The Naughty List

The 2017 Naughty ListIt’s that time of year again; when the mince pies you bought from whichever supermarket chain you frequent back in September have passed their “use-by” date, you can’t escape from Wham, Slade or Mariah Carey, and that fat, judgemental git in the red suit starts checking up on us again.

Well, fuck that; naughty IS nice as far as I’m concerned and, with that thought in mind, I bring you my 2017 “Naughty List“.

I compiled my first naughty list in 2015. Sadly, it no longer exists, and neither do quite a few of the blogs that were on it. I was on a bit of a hiatus in 2016 and so didn’t compile a list last year. Since my return, I’ve discovered a number of new blogs and been reacquainted with some old favourites.

I won’t bore you with the reasons as to why I like a particular blog or blogger; suffice to say that these are the ones I keep coming back to most often.  If you are on my list of bad girls and boys, congratulations, if you aren’t, sorry; we can still be friends can’t we?

So here, in the spirit of “Sharing Our Shit“, without any further ado, and in no order whatsoever I give you:

The ZeN Nudist/Kilted Wookie Naughty List 2017

Wear your (limited edition) “Naughty List” membership badge with pride…

ZeN

Share Our Shit

The One And Only Way…

Every now and then I stumble across one of those articles/posts that falls into the:

Real Doms

and:

You can’t be Dominant if you don’t

categories. These kinds of articles really piss me off.

Why?

Because they are a total load of shite!

It’s bad enough trying to kinksplain D/s to a vanilla audience but when the shite is being spouted by individuals pertaining to be in the D/s community, it just makes things worse.

D/s relationships are not about pain or punishment, they are not about forcing someone else to your will, they are not about power and control and exploitation.

Well, OK, that’s not strictly true. D/s relationships can be about those things if that is dynamic of a particular relationship. If it is, and it works, and the individuals are happy with it, then great. It can be about those things, but it doesn’t have to be.

So here’s the thing, as I see it, a D/s relationship is, first and foremost, a relationship. Every relationship is as unique as the people who live within it. Every relationship has its own dynamic, its own set of “rules” that make it work. Possibly even more so than is the case in purely vanilla relationships, trust, respect and honesty are the fundamental keystones and foundations of a D/s relationship. A Dom is not a Dom because they beat/punish/discipline their submissive. They are a Dom because they nurture and protect, guide and support their submissive. If within the context of that relationship this is demonstrated and achieved through spankings and/or other forms of discipline, then so be it. It works, so great.

Similarly, a sub isn’t a sub because they have no will of their own or are weak. Again, this may be how it plays out within a particular dynamic of a particular relationship, but it doesn’t mean it applies universally.

Even within the confines of one relationship, what was right yesterday, may not be appropriate today and what works today may, for a myriad of reasons, by off limits tomorrow.

D/s relationships have their issues and unforeseen circumstances just like any other relationship and, fundamentally, this is because they are just another relationship.

Anyone who says that “A Dom must do so and so” or “You can’t be a Dom if you don’t do such and such” or “If you are a sub, you must perform whatever” is basically talking out of their arse.  There is no one right way to do D/s just as there is no one right way to do any relationship. The fundamental essential foundations of any relationship are pretty much the same, regardless of the flavour.

If there is to be only one right way it is, quite simply, whatever way is right for you. A Dom doesn’t have to use their belt or a cane and a sub doesn’t have to be humiliated or locked up in a cage. If that’s what works for you, that’s fantastic, keep doing it and don’t let anyone else tell you that you are wrong. If it isn’t your thing, don’t feel that it should be because some “know it all” says you should. Do what is right for you because, ultimately, it’s nobody else’s business what  you and your partner(s) get up to within the context of the relationship you share with them.

ZeN

Naughty Scotland

Naughty ScotlandWhen I first started out, I wasn’t even aware that there was a Sex Blogging Community; it was just me, writing and posting my naughty stories. Now, of course, I am aware that I am part of a wonderfully rich and diverse community of sex positive people, who share their thoughts and opinions, write amazingly hot stories and poems, and post fantastic photographs.  All of them amazingly talented, and I am proud to part of this world.

Anyway, it was St. Andrew’s Day on Thursday and, as you are probably aware, I am Scottish. And since, apparently, we Scots actually “invented” sex in the first place (thank you Microbrachius dicki), I thought it was only appropriate that I should take this opportunity to give a little publicity to those of us from North of the Wall. There may well be others out there that I have not yet discovered, so please let me know of any that I have missed.

(Naughty) Scotswha hae…

Share Our Shit

Here’s tae us
Wha’s like us
Damn few
And they’re a’ deid
Mairs the pity!

Sadly, not all of the above are still active, however, if you are Scottish and/or live in Scotland, and have a blog that you’d like included on this list, just leave me a comment below.

ZeN

Ssshhh! It’s A Secret…

Share Our ShitI’ve had a few chats about anonymity in the context of our community of late. It seems we occupy a very polarised section of reality.

There are some bloggers, who are pretty much “out”. I’m thinking along the lines of people like Molly Moore and Tabitha Rayne. Whether or not they use their real names or pen names, their identities are pretty much known. They show their faces, and other bits. They are out and proud.

Then there are the “halfways”. This time I’m thinking May More and Helen Scott. They use what may (or may not) be their real names. They blog openly about subjects that affect/interest them personally. They participate in (potentially) revealing memes like #SinfulSunday. And yet, for all that we know that both have cracking breasts, we don’t really know who they are; we never see their faces.

Finally, there are the “anons”. People like Girl on The Net and myself (not that I’m holding myself out as being in her league). For all that we frankly discuss the aspects of sex and sexuality that interest and/or concern us, we remain hidden behind pseudonyms, our identities hidden to all but a trusted few who have met and know us.

Now this, sadly, is quite understandable. While the activities we in the community discuss so freely are “normal”, so called polite society does not deem them suitable for public consumption. There are many people who would not approve of me if they knew I was a sex blogger.  I would almost certainly suffer professionally, despite the fact that the topics I write about are well within the bounds of what is considered to be normal human behaviour. It’s simply that, I write about a part of human behaviour that is conducted, for the most part, behind closed doors, and which, it seems, the majority of people would prefer not to be discussed at all.

Now, because I participate in #SinfulSunday, and occasionally post more explicit images on tumblr, it is, I guess, perceivable that my real identity could be gleaned by some sharp-eyed viewer. This is a risk I accept. Similarly, I enjoy meeting members of the community in real life and try to do so wherever my work travels take me. It is, after all, always nice to put a face to the boobs and/or arses I see every week. But every time I do so, I am entrusting them with my most precious secret, the real me. Of course, they are placing the same trust in me. There is, I guess you could say, an element of Mutually Assured Destruction in place.

Partially in jest, I once commented to Exposing40 that one of the bizarre things about our community is that often, the face is the last bit of each other that we see. It’s kind of inevitable I guess; It wouldn’t exactly be appropriate for us to meet up in a public location and try and identify each other by our naughty bits after all. That said, given that we would likely be the only people present with said naughty bits on display might make it a bit easier.

I fully accept and understand why those of us who blog openly about sex need to be protective of our identities, I just wish that now, in the 21st Century, such secrecy wasn’t required.

Which, finally, brings me to the point of this rambling post. \this community is what it is because of the wonderful people who contribute to it; the writers, the reviewers, the photographers, the bloggers, the readers, the commenters and the lurkers. We need to look out for each other. The more observant among you may have noticed this post is slightly more link heavy than usual and the reason for that is that we need to “Share our Shit!

Zen

Going Dark

Every now and then it becomes a necessity; there is a need to step away.  The blogging/twitter community is a wonderfully supportive group, but sometimes space is needed.

It’s not that unusual for me to shut myself off from the world periodically. My mood, and indeed my general personality, tend to mean that I prefer/require a degree of solitude.

Depression itself can be a very solitary condition. It has a tendency to focus thoughts, feelings and emotions in on sufferer’s sense of self. It leads us to withdraw, to shut ourselves off, to distance ourselves from those who care for us because we feel we are a burden, that our own pain brings those around us down.

When the black cloud descends, it is difficult to see beyond it. It seems impossible that anyone would want to have anything to do with us, let alone love/care for us; especially as we feel incapable of doing these things for ourselves. It can, and does, put a strain on friendships and relationships.

So once again, I find myself down in the darkest of depths, howling at the moon. Each day another battle in a war that ultimately only has one ending.

ZeN

 

Talking Dirty

#MasturbationMondayTRIGGER WARNING: This post will probably make me sound like a massive bellend/pious twat.

Filthy…

Dirty…

Illicit…

Sinful…

Wicked…

Bad…

All words that are frequently used to describe aspects of sex. Also words that are used in the names of some of my favourite blogs and blogging memes; blogs and memes that promote body/image/sex positivity.

Yet, despite all the good things about these, I have one niggling problem them; the names.

Now, I must emphasise that I am not having a go at the bloggers and writers involved. The problem isn’t with their blogs, or what they write, or the photos they post. After all, I participate in these memes, posting both my writing and photos. My problem is with the language. Not the language used by my fellow bloggers/writers you understand, just the language that has grown up around sex itself.

Now, when it comes to writing about sex, I am as “guilty” as everyone else; I describe it as dirty/filthy/naughty/etc. The problem is, the negative connotations of these words goes against the sex positive message we try to put forward. Somehow, while on the one hand seeming entirely apt, they also reinforce the message that there is something wrong with sex; that somehow we should feel shame for enjoying it and the pleasure it brings us.

And yet…

And yet, the use of such words is partially what makes it so much fun; it makes it seem like we’re doing something we really shouldn’t. Which is, of course bollocks. Of course we should be doing it. If we didn’t, none of us would be here to discuss it. And since we should be doing it, it only seems right that we should also enjoy it.

On the one hand it is great that the sex positive community is attempting to “reclaim” these words and make them positive but, on the other hand, are we not further entrenching the idea of “wrongness” about sex by doing so.

It’s a quandary. No less so because there are no “positive” words in our language that have the same delicious (ok, so there’s one) feel to them when describing the act. There is something primal and satisfying about words such as fuck, cock, cunt; it is their power to shock that illicits such strong emotions and feelings, and what would sex be without those.

So we are stuck with the bizarre juxtaposition that, while proclaiming to the world that sex is good, wholesome, healthy, natural fun, we do so by describing it as dirty, filthy, naughty, bad.

This is a bit of a rambling diatribe. I wish I had a satisfying conclusion (pun intended) to raise. I wish I didn’t sound like a complete berk. Are we right to be wrong, or is wrong being right? I don’t know, I really don’t.

It’s a contradiction, and one that everyone who writes positively about sex faces, but it’s the use of such language that makes our particular genre (and indeed, the act itself) so enjoyable.

What can I say? Sometimes humans baffle me.

ZeN

You’ll Never Walk Alone

In recognition of today being World Mental Health Day, I thought it appropriate to share this beautiful song, whose lyrics always serve to remind me that I am not on this journey on my own.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm
There’s a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone
You’ll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone
You’ll never walk alone
– Oscar Hammerstein/Richard Rodgers

ZeN