It Started With A Dick Pic

Share Our ShitBefore I go any further, I should point out that I was coerced; honest m’lud…

I’ll get to the meat of this (as it were) in a bit, but first of all, I’ll back up a bit.

Under the guise of my hirsute alter ego, I had been tweeting and posting naughty stories since early 2011. I had, in fact, been posting stories online since about 2001, but it was during a period of illness in early 2011 that I discovered twitter, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Although I had a blog, of sorts, on which to post my stories, I wasn’t actually a blogger as such. I did the odd bit of writing as the mood and inspiration took me, and that was as far as it went.

My writing did, however, bring me into contact with other writers of erotica, and from there I discovered that there was a rich and vibrant online community of writers and bloggers with whom I identified with and was becoming increasingly a part of. I still wasn’t a blogger though.

Very much still a lurker, I began commenting on the blogs that I was reading. Those comments meant that other visitors to those blogs “discovered” my site and started visiting and commenting on my work. A certain momentum was inexorably building.

Enter (not in the biblical sense) two very, persuasive women, Cheryl Kaye and Charlie Powell (or @HornyGeekGirl or @sexblogofsorts to use their twitter names) and we get, eventually, to the point of this post.

Between them they waxed lyrical about the dearth of male sex bloggers and how much they wished for “more cock on #SinfulSunday“. Eventually I took the bait and, three years ago this weekend, I posted my very first #SinfulSunday submission.

I had actually guest posted on Cheryl’s blog a few weeks earlier and, thanks to the favourable reaction my photos were receiving, I would later re-post that article on my own blog as another of my #SinfulSunday entries.

So there you have it, the story of how this introverted occasional peddler of filth was unleashed on an unexpecting internet.

Cheryl/Charlie, if you are reading this, the credit/blame is all yours…

ZeN

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Statistically speaking

Share Our ShitI mentioned last week that 2017 has been an interesting year. For those of you who are interested in facts and figures, this post may just be for you. If, however, you are in any way “normal”, I suggest you want to skip over the blatant self promotion in the first half of this post and visit one of the blogs listed further down the page for something much more interesting.

My Blogs

So, for those of you who don’t already know (and even those of you who do), I actually have three, yes, that’s right, three blogs.

  • There is this humble journal where I whitter on about whatever flits across my mind and I deem it to be sufficiently of interest to jot it down.
  • Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album – where I share my photos.
  • A Kilted Wookie Writes – I share my erotic fiction and poetry.

Across the three, I received a total of 10,636 views. Given that I haven’t written any fiction/poetry since 2016, it’s not surprising that the majority of those views were for this site and my photos. That my writing site still pulled in 2,600 viewers without me contributing to it at all is still quite an achievement.

For each of the three blogs, the 10 most viewed posts were:

The Zen Nudist

  1. In Praise Of Pussy
  2. The Myth Of The Perfect Blow-Job
  3. Oral Sex – The Be And End All?
  4. No Worries
  5. Taking Myself In Hand
  6. A Confession
  7. Dominance Through Cunnilingus
  8. Fine Dining
  9. Split Personalities
  10. In The Mind
Kilted Wookie’s Photo Album

  1. Looking Up
  2. Up And Under
  3. What’s Cooking?
  4. Left, Right & Centre
  5. Dappled
  6. Business (Un)dress
  7. Blue Splash
  8. At Ease
  9. Hotel Corridors
  10. Dick(ie) Bow
A Kilted Wookie Writes

  1. Oral Foreplay
  2. Dee’s Double Delight
  3. The Making Of An Adulteress
  4. Seònaid’s Big Night In
  5. Under The Covers
  6. Blindfolded And Taken
  7. Hotel Get Together
  8. Sexual Symphony
  9. Ready And Rough
  10. The Train Home

My Visitors

Despite being Scottish and living in Scotland (that’s the top third bit of the United Kingdom for those who don’t know), the majority of my visitors came from the USA. The top ten countries by visitor number were:

  1. United States
  2. Great Britain
  3. Canada
  4. Ireland
  5. Australia
  6. New Zealand
  7. Netherlands
  8. Germany
  9. Spain
  10. Sweden

Given that I blog entirely in English, it’s no great surprise that the majority of my visitors come from the English speaking world, but for those of you for whom English is not your first language, I am deeply humbled that you choose to drop by.

Referrals 

It’s not at all surprising that a lot of people come to me via the blogging memes I participate in; so, as always, a huge “Thank You!” to Kayla, Marie and Molly for organising these. The top 10 referring sites were:

  1. Twitter
  2. #SinfulSunday
  3. WordPress Reader
  4. #MasturbationMonday
  5. #WickedWednesday
  6. Adult Blog Hub
  7. Search Engines (Google, Yahoo, Bing)
  8. #KinkOfTheWeek
  9. Tumblr
  10. e[lust]

Where do people go?

Of course it’s not all one-way traffic. The people who visit my blog, click through to other blogs; either via the links in my blogroll, the blogs I link to in my posts or the comments other bloggers leave on my posts. the Top 10 bloggers that I sent traffic to in 2017 were:

  1. Tabitha Rayne by (@TabithaErotica)
  2. Nerdy Dirty Girl by (@SuburbanSex)
  3. Confess Hannah by (@confess_Hannah)
  4. Fire & Honey by (@fireandhoney)
  5. Girl on the Net by (@girlonthenet)
  6. Nooky Ever After by (@nookysemper)
  7. Cleareyed Girl by (@_Masterseye)
  8. Jerusalem Mortimer by (@JaimeMortimer)
  9. A to sub-Bee by (@sub_bee)
  10. Aurora Glory by (@AuroraGloryBlog)

So there you have it; everything you probably never actually wanted to know about my blog and the people who visit it.

ZeN

My blogging year

Share Our Shit2017 has been an interesting year. Having been on hiatus for most of 2016, if you’d said to me back in January that I would be blogging again, I’d have probably laughed at you (albeit, given my mood at the time, laughing wasn’t something that came particularly naturally nor easily, but I digress…). When the year started I was content to lurk, dipping in and out of other people’s blogs occasionally, and keeping in vague contact with some of my fellow bloggers via twitter and/or whatsapp.

January moved on into February, as it always does, and this, of course, means that the lovely Molly unleashes February Photo Fest on the world. I’m not entirely sure why, but in the guise of my furry alter ego, I decided to contribute, and the rest, as the say, was history.

Of course, the fact that I was posting photographs meant, almost be default, that I returned to the #SinfulSunday family.

I’ve always been a big fan of #SinfulSunday because of its inclusive and positive group of contributors; always supportive, never judgemental, and the quality of the submissions is simply stunning. So much so, that I am always stunned when one of my efforts makes it into the weekly top 5. This year, that happened on 5 occasions:

Huge thanks to the above bloggers for choosing my photos when there are always so many fantastic images to pic every week.

The following photos were also featured by other bloggers:

Posting photos meant I was also, once again, able to participate in the Scavenger Hunt  hosted by Jade.

While I was posting photos, I still wasn’t “blogging” per se. I wasn’t doing any writing, nor did I have very much to say on the subject of kink/sex.

When I did start blogging again, the half-formed intention was that it would be more of a personal journal, rather than an actual sex blog. I needed a slightly different voice for a different side of my personality. For that, and a host of other reasons that I explained earlier, The Zen Nudist was born.

Unlike my previous blog which got deleted in 2016, this blog would, it was intended, be somewhere where I would post whatever I had on my mind rather than concentrate specifically on kink/sex. To that end, it has more or less lived up to its intended purpose, but almost inevitably, the two areas I tend to blog about most are mental health/depression and sex. Sometimes, I even manage to combine them both in the same post.

Writing about sex, of course, brought me back to some more of the wonderful memes that members of this community curate, namely:

Once again, despite there being many excellent contributions, some of my posts have been included in the weekly round-ups:

In addition to the above, a big “thank you” goes to May More for including me in her #SoSS postings and another to Jaime Mortimer for including me in a top 5 sharing of blogging love for #WickedWednesday.

Having met Big Miss Naughty/Scot Bad Girl, Ms Handful, Honey, Exposing 40 and The Other Livvy previously, 2017 was the year where I also managed to meet Exhibit A and Lapsed Catholic.

Sadly, of course, much as I did in 2016, some of the above have chosen to either stop blogging or remove their blogs entirely during 2017. If they are reading this, then they should know that they are missed.

So, that was 2017. Let’s see where the journey takes us in 2018…

ZeN

The Naughty List

The 2017 Naughty ListIt’s that time of year again; when the mince pies you bought from whichever supermarket chain you frequent back in September have passed their “use-by” date, you can’t escape from Wham, Slade or Mariah Carey, and that fat, judgemental git in the red suit starts checking up on us again.

Well, fuck that; naughty IS nice as far as I’m concerned and, with that thought in mind, I bring you my 2017 “Naughty List“.

I compiled my first naughty list in 2015. Sadly, it no longer exists, and neither do quite a few of the blogs that were on it. I was on a bit of a hiatus in 2016 and so didn’t compile a list last year. Since my return, I’ve discovered a number of new blogs and been reacquainted with some old favourites.

I won’t bore you with the reasons as to why I like a particular blog or blogger; suffice to say that these are the ones I keep coming back to most often.  If you are on my list of bad girls and boys, congratulations, if you aren’t, sorry; we can still be friends can’t we?

So here, in the spirit of “Sharing Our Shit“, without any further ado, and in no order whatsoever I give you:

The ZeN Nudist/Kilted Wookie Naughty List 2017

Wear your (limited edition) “Naughty List” membership badge with pride…

ZeN

Share Our Shit

Naughty Scotland

Naughty ScotlandWhen I first started out, I wasn’t even aware that there was a Sex Blogging Community; it was just me, writing and posting my naughty stories. Now, of course, I am aware that I am part of a wonderfully rich and diverse community of sex positive people, who share their thoughts and opinions, write amazingly hot stories and poems, and post fantastic photographs.  All of them amazingly talented, and I am proud to part of this world.

Anyway, it was St. Andrew’s Day on Thursday and, as you are probably aware, I am Scottish. And since, apparently, we Scots actually “invented” sex in the first place (thank you Microbrachius dicki), I thought it was only appropriate that I should take this opportunity to give a little publicity to those of us from North of the Wall. There may well be others out there that I have not yet discovered, so please let me know of any that I have missed.

(Naughty) Scotswha hae…

Share Our Shit

Here’s tae us
Wha’s like us
Damn few
And they’re a’ deid
Mairs the pity!

Sadly, not all of the above are still active, however, if you are Scottish and/or live in Scotland, and have a blog that you’d like included on this list, just leave me a comment below.

ZeN

TMI Tuesday – Sex On The Brain

Sex on the Brain

  1. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal-breaker?
    Simple answer “No”. Nine times out of ten I’m probably face down between her thighs when she’s doing her “O” face, so it’s not something I see often anyway. That said, I love seeing that dreamily content “being fucked” look on her face.
  2. Do you enjoy having your balls played with?
    This is a trick question? I’m male, what do you think? Yes, yes and thrice YES!!!
  3. Have you ever hooked-up with somebody based on their proximity to your smartphone location (Tinder, GRINDR, etc)?
    Not based exactly on location, although, through Twitter, we did once discover that we would both be at a the same venue on a particular date and we did, of course, take advantage of this situation.
  4. You have some free-time in the workday–blow job or intercourse? (BJ can be giving or receiving).
    Depends how much free-time we’re talking about. but all variations on the theme, including me going down on her, have happened at some point. It can be kind of awkward if your boss phones you though…
  5. How long after having sex with a new partner do you have to wait before falling asleep?
    Depends on the location and circumstances I guess. If you’re sufficiently comfortable in each other’s presence, and drowsy enough, why not?

TMI TuesdayBonus: What’s the dirtiest or sexiest text message you’ve ever received?
Sexting/flirting is pretty much a daily occurrence, so there’s been too many to be specific. Getting a text telling me that she wants fucked the moment I get in the door and is waiting is pretty hot though.

ZeN

Social Media v Mental Health

I have a bit of a love hate relationship with social media; in particular with Twitter. I also have depression.

Like many people with mental health problems, I have found a wonderfully supportive community of people, many of them who are fighting their own demons, but who take the time out to utter a few words of encouragement because they can empathise because of their own circumstances. Even when I have been at my most out of love with Twitter, the community has always been there. There are people, far to numerous to mention individually, who have helped me through some of the darkest and lowest periods of my life, and I cannot express how grateful I am for their support.

There are many, like me, who use Twitter in good times and bad; sharing both our joys and our sorrows. Sadly, that can sometimes be its biggest problem instead of its greatest strength.

It’s a symptom of many mental health issues that, at their worst, you feel as if you are the only one in pain; that no one else can possibly understand the sheer hell that your life is and the constant torment and anguish that accompanies the very act of living. People like me who use Twitter as their platform to howl at the moon can, possibly, be guilty of over-sharing. It’s not deliberate, it’s just our mental pain can sometimes blind us to the pain and suffering of others.  Flip side of the coin being that it deepens our empathy and causes us to take their pains and worries and couple them with our own.

It’s a fine line to walk. I have, on occasion, been accused of being a self-obsessed attention seeker when I am at my lowest. When I return from the depths to the shallows that I more frequently inhabit, I can understand why people might think that. Depression and other mental health conditions do tend to make you focus your attention inwards. Sufferers look inward, seeing their own faults magnified, we withdraw, we shut others out, we lose interest in the world around us, encased in our impenetrable shell of darkness. There are times when I cannot think of others because I need to concentrate all of my energy and attention on just getting myself through the day. What, from the outside may look like selfishness and self-absorption is, more accurately, simply survival.

Sometimes I need to withdraw from the community that otherwise supports and sustains me. Sometimes I need to do it for my own peace of mind, and at other times I do it to avoid inflicting the very worst of myself on people whose own stability could really do without being burdened by my woes as well as their own.

Twitter is a fantastic source of solace an succour from people who know and understand the battles people fight with their demons, because they do so themselves. It can, however, also seem like the darkest of places, when all around is doom and misery.

Writing this, the love/hate isn’t actually, I realise, directed at Twitter; it is more a reflection of my own emotional state and the way I feel about myself. There are days when I hate myself more or less than others. There are days when the world will bring me down, and others where I owe it to the world to stay in hibernation until the worst has passed.

Mental health issues are definitely no picnic but, having said that, knowing the type of people who make up my audience, I suspect anyone reading this already knows that.

ZeN